Sigh! I know if roles were reversed I would be offended if DP wasnt invited, but aaargh I dont know how to say what Im thinking...
Smiles4u- Unfortunately(well probably fortunately) he isnt a rampant alco so I cant use that one but I see what your saying with all partners or none, thats a pretty good call.
Aliash- Some good things to ponder, I know for a fact she would be offended if I didnt invite him as when we were in Melbourne last we were meant to have a girly catch up and he wanted to come along(controlling, possesive and emotional abusive hence me calling him a douche) but I said that I wanted it to be just her and I and she got a bit funny so I kind of dont want to have that happen all over again...And they would be coming from vic to qld.
I guess Ill just invite him and hope for the best...
It would be a bit of a dead giveaway if you tried the 'controlling the numbers' line and she turned up and there were eighty people, including partners, and it was a casual bbq. That line can work with weddings, where it is often a legitimate excuse, but is probably not as believable with a child's first birthday party.
Although if he does come, you'll probably be so busy that you won't have time to notice his douche-iness anyway. I doubt I managed to have a conversation longer than three sentences at my DS' party, so if he p*sses you off, as the host you have a pretty legitimate excuse to tend to other guests, or to your DD.
.... Peach i know it's a hard situation to be in seeing it's your bubba's very 1st birthday, and you as Mummy certainly want it to be a brilliant day to always remember ... if it helps at all i had two pain in the b@tt friends partners come to my DD's 1st b'day party and seeing the party was at 1pm on an arvo they were actually really well behavoured to the point that i was so busy doing things & chatting to most there i actually forgot ' they ' were there
I think if the party is during the day people are usually more toned down, and HE may not show his true colours, espesh if there are unfamiliar people to him at the party IYKWIM ... so i reckon try not too worry so much and maybe just now look forward to your DD's very extra special day
Great advice! Thank you so much Girls. I dont want to stress and really thinking about it this way it dosnt seem like the biggest issue. Im going to post the invites tmrw and I will invite him. Thanks again!
Ugh, it's awful when friends fall in love with people that make your skin crawl! I have had to give away a friendship because I couldn't stand her husband & I couldn't in fairness inflict him on my husband if they came over. I just couldn't bear to be anywhere around him and his stupid, big mouth & all the crappola that flows out of it. It's tough, but I found myself losing respect for my friend - why oh why does she stay with him - so in the end it came down to couldn't really be bothered maintaining the friendship.
So I understand your dilema, and hope that it all works out for you!
I think it would be best if you just told her you don't like him - using the word douche is an excellent idea to get the point across. If he is a controlling abuser you need to say it out loud to her. Other than that if he did turn up, are there enough people around that would pull him up for being a douche?
I think you do have to invite both of them 'if you are going to actually send an invite'... The only way around it is not to actually send her an invite to her at all and just assume that she will be there because she will be visiting at that time iykwim... It's a bit sneaky but if she brings up why she didnt' get a physical invite in the mail just tell her you didn't think to send an invite to them because you already knew she was staying when she visited you... Unfortunantly she may just bring him along anyway
On a seperate note last night I dreamt that I met you!!!
ugh, how annoying!
I agree, you have to invite him. But if he is as bad as you say maybe you have to be prepared to ask him to leave if he starts being feral?? Then you can say to your friend 'I'm sorry but we don't put up with that kind of behaviour' and maybe she can get the hint that she should do the same! lol.
Although, that's a lot of drama for a first b'day party and you don't want to have to be dealing with that.
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I understand your dilema, and hope that it all works out for you!
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