Giving your child both names, un-hyphenated (one as a middle name, one as a surname) is becoming more common. My husband and I have different surnames and we struggled with this decision, too, for the same reason. We're not fond of the hyphen either.

However, I felt that if we used our names un-hyphenated it would have the exact same effect as choosing one name over the other as a surname. At school he would be known by that surname and the middle name would be forgotten. So in the end we went with the hyphen and then whatever our son chooses to do if/when he marries is up to him.

We tossed around the idea of choosing a completely new common surname for the entire family based on something that was important to us, like Liberty or maybe a place we shared, but we never made a decision.

We often get mail to "Mr and Mrs (my husband's name)" and I don't really care. We also get mail to "The (hyphenated-surname)s", which isn't correct either. Again, it doesn't worry me. I know our surname situation is confusing for people, I can't expect them to keep track.

Actually, since giving our son the hyphenated surname we are now leaning towards changing our surnames to match. It turned out we didn't mind it so much after all.