Why is ok to say, skinny and not fat?

[Inanna]

I don't think it's off topic at all - that's how conversations evolve Leesa!

I don't know which but I do know both are unhealthy - JUST as being underweight is unhealthy. As you know I stacked on the weight whilst pregnant (& before) Immy due to the steroidal treatment needed to sustain a pregnancy for me. I have lost all of my weight now & I too get told I'm too skinny. I am smack bang in the healthy weight for my height.

I think political correctness has got a little out of control when heath care providers find it difficult to broach the weight issue on both ends... Also smoking as well. I too have strong anti smoking sentiments & find it appalling when people smoke in front of kids & others as it's just unhealthy & I don't feel it should be inflicted on others.

However, I have no qualms in saying so! That is my right as a dual occupant on planet Earth. Someone else's weight is their business. Whilst it does impact Iguess on the public purse it's not quite as "in your face" as smoking... (scuse the pun! )

[Kazmar]

I don't think it's off topic at all - that's how conversations evolve Leesa!

I don't know which but I do know both are unhealthy - JUST as being underweight is unhealthy. As you know I stacked on the weight whilst pregnant (& before) Immy due to the steroidal treatment needed to sustain a pregnancy for me. I have lost all of my weight now & I too get told I'm too skinny. I am smack bang in the healthy weight for my height.

I think political correctness has got a little out of control when heath care providers find it difficult to broach the weight issue on both ends... Also smoking as well. I too have strong anti smoking sentiments & find it appalling when people smoke in front of kids & others as it's just unhealthy & I don't feel it should be inflicted on others.

However, I have no qualms in saying so! That is my right as a dual occupant on planet Earth. Someone else's weight is their business. Whilst it does impact Iguess on the public purse it's not quite as "in your face" as smoking... (scuse the pun! )

Great point Smokeing can affect my children and I, somebodies weight, does not

[LimeSlice]

I have been overweight most of my life, and just plain fat for the last few years.
When I moved out of home though I dropped masses of weight and people started telling me how good I looked, was ace.
Then when a few years later, I was a size 6 (I was over the moon when I could get into a XS Little Black Dress from Protmans for NYE lol) and all of a sudden I was ill, "sooo skinny". I honestly felt fabulous - best I had ever looked and I was really happy with my self for the first time in my life.
Funnily enough, not long after that I started to put weight on again, wanted to be a size 10, where people would think I was ill, and ended up a size 16 I don;t know, maybe people had gotten so used to me being the frumpy one they were jealous when I rocked that dress at the Ferrari Grand Prix Party My lordy I was hot!

Now I just don't give a flying fig what people think - the only person I care about it my husband (and my health) aside that, everyone else can go jump....but I will get into that LBD one day soon hehehe DH loves it

[Livinthedream]

You know what, i find the whole weight issue to be the same as the BF issue (everyone has a medical reason LOL.)
In actual reality, there are very few people who are over weight for genuine medical reasons.
The vast majority of overweight folks are that way because of diet. you may not eat badly, but you eat too much.
Thats me, eat really well, hardly ever eat fast food, but I do tend to snack on carbs instead of fruit and am guilty of having seconds when I dont need them.
I know this is the case, because when I do actually make a point of stopping the extras, I loose the weight.
Call me harsh, I am a spade is a spade kind of girl.

[Kazmar]

You know what, i find the whole weight issue to be the same as the BF issue (everyone has a medical reason LOL.)
In actual reality, there are very few people who are over weight for genuine medical reasons.
The vast majority of overweight folks are that way because of diet. you may not eat badly, but you eat too much.
Thats me, eat really well, hardly ever eat fast food, but I do tend to snack on carbs instead of fruit and am guilty of having seconds when I dont need them.
I know this is the case, because when I do actually make a point of stopping the extras, I loose the weight.
Call me harsh, I am a spade is a spade kind of girl.

No, I get you

It runs in my genes to be thin. At 30 though we seem to have to work harder at keeping our weight under control

[Inanna]

I hear you & I hope everyone can just discuss the issue without taking it personally!

It is an indisputable fact that obesity is due more than 90% of the time to over eating, incorrect eating or lack of exercise. We are not meant to carry around so much weight. I know personally I couldn't bend as well, my body ached more & I felt more labile. Now I actually feel like doing yoga, feel like walking because it's easier - physically easier...

We have huge portion sizes compared to what is necessary. Our stomach is the size of our fist. Most people have dinner plates 2 sometimes 3 sizes bigger! We eat so many carbs - refined carbs. White pasta, white bread, fats.

I don't believe it's an individual "fault" it's our societal norm to have these massive meals. We stopped listening to our bellies. We stopped using our bodies and moving our bodies!

Instead of food being a fuel it's now something we treat with. I never give my kids food as a reward for this reason. Food is meant to be social and enjoyed but not at the volume that has become normal.

I do't think you're harsh at all Shelley - I think it's very hard to speak about as people tend to get reactive. Both ends of the scales do!

[Rouge]

Oh absolutely I don't deny that. But I think no one should ever make an assumption about anyone's lifestyle ever. It's no different than assuming that because someone is skinny they must starve themselves or throw up after every meal. You can't be upset at people making assumptions about your size or lifestyle and then go ahead and do the same to the other side. Well you can but it's highly hypocritical IMO.

[Inanna]

I believe though that because the "average" sized woman has gone up to a size 16 a woman in the recommended healthy weight range is seen as "skinny". When she really is not! She's just healthy.

So our idea or our picture of what skinny is has probably changed and it is that healthy weight that is seen as "skinny" when really she's not!

Losing weight is difficult, it' takes commitment, strength and fortitude. We have a whole lot of media saying: "skinny is bad" well underweight isn't healthy and nor is over weight.

If you put in more calories than you exercise out. If you eat sugar and refined carbs on a big plate you will put on weight. It's a fact. If you reduce your calorie intake and up your exercise more than 90% will lose weight. BUT it sounds simple and it's not! Its hard work - thus a multi million dollar weight loss industry! Food is yummy! It has overcome our society. Fast food is everywhere...

However, there is no disputing that a healthy weight range is healthier for us as individuals, for our kids and for the public coffers.

[misty]

It isn't alright to call anyone 'fatty' because doing so is just demeaning the person and does not do anything to help the person loose weight or get motivated to do so, rather it tends to have the opersite effect and cause them to give up and get even bigger.

Just as people shouldn't deride 'skinny' people, because a) you don't know if they are naturally that skinny, work hard to remain that skinny or have an illness that causes them to be that skinny; b) it doesn't matter what the answe to a) is, because it is none of your business!

I have been on both ends of the scale and honestly people should just learn to keep their mouths shut, fat or thin. Because I can guarantee you that the subject being examined is perfectly aware of just how fat or thin they are!

[Traveller]

I agree Inanna, our perception of skinny has become skewed with the average woman being much bigger now than is healthy. I remember being told by my doctor I was obese, and complaining to girlfriends who all said that I was fine, and as I still fitted into a size 12/14 I figured the doc was just being mean. The doctor was, of course, absolutely correct in referring to my BMI which put me in the obese category.

When I started to lose the weight I got compliments at first, but as I neared a healthy weight I got lots of comments about getting "too skinny". It seems you can't please some people

[LimeSlice]

An average (Western) woman has always been a size 14 or higher anyway. This is not a new thing.
Our bodies have never been that slim, size 10 was never average.

[allycat06]

DH has always been skinny, probably always will be. When we first met he was quite underweight (Around 70kgs...he's 196cms) and lots of people (myself included) used to comment on it, not realising how much it hurt him. I remember often commenting on how much his ribs stuck out and telling him to eat more! I suppose because slim is perceived as being the 'normal' size in society we never seem to think of it as a bad thing, the slimmer you are the better (which of course is stupid). Not ever stopping to think that perhaps that skinny people are fighting their own kind of weight battle.

DH has always been the type of person who struggles to keep his weight up, he has to eat constantly to the point of not enjoying food and just a few days of being sick and bam! 5kgs down. A few years into our relationship I noticed he was starting to gain a bit of weight and put it down to him quitting smoking. Turns out he'd been using weight gain powder but was too embarrassed to tell me! I didn't find out for months. He felt silly that he had to resort to a supplement to put on weight...no one should have to feel like that!

I suppose all of that has taught me to be very careful what I say, just because someone is slim doesn't necessarily mean they like it and just because someone is larger doesn't mean they are unhappy or unhealthy. As long as YOU are happy with yourself that's all that matters right?

[Livinthedream]

It isn't alright to call anyone 'fatty' because doing so is just demeaning the person and does not do anything to help the person loose weight or get motivated to do so, rather it tends to have the opersite effect and cause them to give up and get even bigger.

Just as people shouldn't deride 'skinny' people, because a) you don't know if they are naturally that skinny, work hard to remain that skinny or have an illness that causes them to be that skinny; b) it doesn't matter what the answe to a) is, because it is none of your business!

I have been on both ends of the scale and honestly people should just learn to keep their mouths shut, fat or thin. Because I can guarantee you that the subject being examined is perfectly aware of just how fat or thin they are!

I agree with you. I dont actually go around calling people fatties either, it was more a phrase than anything, "skinny/smoker/drinker/fatty" being one myself, I dont actually find the term to be that offensive. Maybe because of the above list, the only one I havent been is "skinny" LOL
But I do find it interesting that the number one health hazard in the western world is treated as a completly taboo subject.
How does this happen?

[sushee]

Haven't read the whole thread but just wanted to point out that BMIs were created by American insurance companies and are skewed to a low height/weight ratio in an attempt to disallow the average person from being insured as a healthy weight even if they're a size 12. BMIs should never be the be all and end all, and as someone with a BMI of 21 now, I can tell you I AM bordering on too skinny. Most bariatric surgeons now believe a healthy weight would put you at a BMI of 27.

Weight is a very emotive issue and I get really peeved when there is any insinuation that overweight people should just exercise more and eat less. I eat less than a 3 yo now to stay this thin (thanks to my lapband). Is that something someone should be able to sustain on their own? C'mon now. And exercising when you're heavy is very hard, sometimes painful and even with a lapband, many PCOS sufferers don't lose weight, because their body doesn't work like everyone else's. I had PCO and gained 25kgs in a year when I was younger. Was that me suddenly eating more and being lazy?

Weight is a personal thing and how you manage it should not be anyone else's business. And one thing I won't do as a thin person now is be unsympathetic to someone struggling with their weight. I could control everything on my life except my weight. It made me feel weak and powerless when I am actually an incredibly strong woman. And negative comments didn't help. Support for women should be not about preaching but about listening, and helping them figure out what works for them, whether they want to gain, lose, or are happy with how they are.

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

I'm sorry, maybe I'm not as emotionally mature as others - but I really am taking offense to a lot of these comments. I have been constantly taunted about being fat since I was in Primary school. I weighed exactly the same as my best friend in Yr 7, only she was 15 cm taller, and our teacher said I was lying and would weigh at least 10 kilo's more than my friend. I was pushed harder during PE than any of the other kids because I was bigger than them. But looking back, looking at my growth charts and comparing them, I was not at an unhealthy weight until I hit 14/15. I got the PCOS symptoms about 8 months before the weight started piling on, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.

I think health problems account for more obesity cases than doctors say. Why are peoples metabolisms different? What is different in their brain chemistry's? Why can one person eat whatever they want, whenever they want, and struggle to gain weight? Why can another person follow a very strict diet and exercise regularly and intensely, and not lose weight? On medical advice, I consumed nothing but OptiFast meal replacement shakes and steamed vegetable - a diet prescribed by a dietician - and didn't lose a single, solitary kilo. For 3 months. How dare someone take one look at me and think they have any idea of how I got this way?

This is a very sensitive issue for me. I have tried very hard to be happy with myself, and most of the time, I am. I make sure I exercise and I eat correct portions of correct foods. I go out of my way to find clothes in my size that I like, rather than just wearing whatever I can find that fits. I wear makeup, and adorn myself with flower fascinators or funky headbands. I buy amazingly expensive lingerie so I can dress up for my husband when the mood takes me. And then to have someone assume that I eat huge portions, or spend my days on the couch with chips and Coke, or tell me that I'm a liar about my personal habits because I'm overweight - is completely demoralizing. And I wonder why I try so hard to be happy with who I am.

Who I am is now, and will always be, a bigger woman than most. But I reckon I need to extra space to house my extra personalities

[onthefly]

I guess we tend to aspire more to the skinny end of the spectrum, so maybe that's why it's sometimes seen as ok? But it's really just the flip side of the same coin.
It's interesting about skewed perceptions. I get called skinny sometimes - I'm really not! I'm small though, so maybe that's why, and unless you see me naked you might not notice all the flab.
We all have things we struggle with and for some of us it's weight. I have been fairly lucky in that while I have no problem maintaining or even gaining weight, I have never gained very much and can lose it with a bit of effort. Doesn't mean I can't empathise though. And I'm also aware of the hypocrisy of criticising other people's lifestyles - I eat crap. I eat too much. I don't exercise enough. It just doesn't make me that fat so I can get away with it. It's still bad for me.

Given the scope of the problem, it's clearly a cultural/societal issue and should be addressed as such. It's counterproductive to tell people YOU are doing the wrong thing, when WE are obviously doing the wrong thing.

[{sarah}]

BMI's are rubbish. My sister was seeing a dietician & he told her if she was at the "right" BMI she would more than likely be dead. He weighed her with scales that do muscle, fat, bones etc etc and the fact is that she has very dense bones which will always put her at a weight that is over her BMI regardless of the fat content of her body.

[Cassius2]

DH has always been skinny, probably always will be. When we first met he was quite underweight (Around 70kgs...he's 196cms) and lots of people (myself included) used to comment on it, not realising how much it hurt him.

My DH cops it all the time too. he is 165cm and just cracks the 60kg. he is forever being mocked for his 'short and skinny' self...oh the jockey comments get a bit boring after awhile lol! it hurts him at times too: at one point he was on sustagen just to try to boost his weight...so didnt work. i *think* he is more comfortable with himself these days (and i reckon he's just perfect!).

i also have faced a lifetime of silly comments regarding my weight. the worst were from family (cause they should know better than to pick on a kid)...especially when they would call me 'lucky legs' (lucky that they dont snap in half and go up my butt ). nice one from the aunty and her kids...

also would get at the shops when trying on clothes the whole 'skinny minny' thing and even on a NUMBER of occassions the 'anorexic' label...as a POSITIVE thing from a sales assistant i was sooo embarrassed and mortified each time. the amount of times that i had to hold back tears as i would try on clothes that never fit and have those comments...to this day i NEVER come out of the changeroom to see how the clothes look in a big mirror...not even for my wedding dress lol!