Non-Drivers Cooee!!!!!! - Your Reasons And Will They Change?

[fionas]

It's so good to hear everyone else's stories. It's not easy when colleagues/friends/family can sometimes make you feel like a freak for not driving.

I think the key for me has been to hit on a really motivating reason to drive. Friends saying "it will make your life so much easier," doesn't really cut it for me because I don't see my life as being THAT hard without a car. Certainly no harder than my parents who survived without a car and had a one-per-hour bus service.

What's pushed me over the edge is that I am getting very excited about doing some things to our house and I am very excited by the idea that I could jump in a car and go to a built-in-wardrobe place, a fabric shop and a carpet shop ALL ON THE SAME DAY if I wanted to rather than trying to work out the closest train station or waiting till DP has a day off.

Since I've found something to be excited about, rather than it being a 'should do', I'm a lot less scared.

I'll let you know how I go.

I think DP is now getting nervous about my excitedness especially as we'll have to swap his manual for an auto.

[Glamourcide]

Just wanted to pop in and say how interesting I'm finding your stories and reasons for not driving!!! I demanded that my mother take me to get my L's the day I became eligible for them, and passed the written test first go (hadn't even cracked the book - this is what happens when you're raised by an ex-rally driver!)... Dad insisted I get my manual licence because 'it will make your life easier being able to drive anything', he and mum owned an auto at the time so he thought it would be best for me to take the exams for a manual licence, learn to handle a car and traffic in an auto, then he went out and bought me a heap of cr@p manual so I could learn clutch/gears without taking on everything at once.
Dad gave me most of my driving lessons, again, he's a very experienced driver and very skilled in defensive driving, so I feel like I had an advantage over my peers whose parents are mediocre drivers or were taught solely how to obey road rules by a driving instructor... I did come a cropper on our first lesson, which of course ended in tears and me screaming at him that I'd 'never drive again!', but I was over it in two hours and ready to get back behind the wheel
I passed my practical exam to get my P's on the first go, too, despite the nerves... it's all mind over matter, it truly is!! So many of my friends psyched themselves out, being paranoid about making tiny mistakes, and they were so worried about missing little things that they made BIG mistakes! I'm the only person I know who has passed their prac exam the first time, I don't know why, I suppose again it just comes down to knowing yourself and believing that you can do it.

Where I live, having a car is pretty much a necessity unless you manage to find a house that's within walking distance of a couple of major amenities - the only public transport available is taxis, or buses during school hours (but even then you can't get on the bus until all the schoolkids have been dropped off so you're restricted to travelling around between 9:30 am and 2:30pm, and the buses stop running on school holidays so there's a good 12 weeks of the year they're not there to take you places), and the town's planners obviously were on acid when deciding where to put shops etc, because everything is sooo spread out and to get your errands done requires driving back and forth all over the place for hours on end... unless you're an accomplished marathon runner there's no way you could get anything done around here without a car or someone to take you somewhere.
So while I think I could probably get away with not having a licence if I lived in a big city, around here it's a real disadvantage to not have a car. I love the freedom that driving gives me, I hate to be reliant upon another person (whether it be DH, my parents, the shoddy public transport system or anything/one else) and I like being able to just chuck DD in the back and go (and, DD's absolute favourite thing in the world is going for drives in the car - it doesn't matter where we end up, as long as she gets to go somewhere in the 'broom-broom'). Before DH and I got together, it wasn't unusual at all for my friends and I to be sitting around on a Friday afternoon after work saying, 'What's on for this weekend?' and then ten minutes later we'd be in the car heading out of town to go stay with friends for a night - it was good to be able to do road trips like that.

I'm a very confident driver, thankfully, and again I think this is my father's influence - my mother has been driving for years but is, let's be honest, a really cr@p driver and a bundle of nerves to boot. She thinks she's an awesome driver because she's never had an accident (okay, never *caused* one) and has only a couple of speeding tix to her name, but being able to putt along at 50 and not run red lights does not a good driver make, imo. Good driving is not about sticking to road rules that accommodate for the lowest common denominator, it's about good reflexes, control of a one-tonne+ lethal weapon, and always expecting somebody else to mess up and put you at risk - too many drivers are complacent, thinking that because *they* are driving in a safe manner, those around them are, too.
That being said, I have had a few minor incidents that could well have been confidence-crushers - thankfully my mistakes have been made on dirt roads while driving alone, testing my own limits and although I've given myself a couple of frights, I now have a better understanding of my personal limits and those of the vehicle I'm driving. Rather than looking at near-misses as a reason to be afraid of driving, I look at it as somewhat empowering.

I find it so interesting to hear from people who don't have licences, for whatever reason (lack of confidence, not necessary, prefer to be free from dependence on a car, etc). It's such an alien concept to me!! I was raised around cars and driving and my parents took me to my first car rally when I was 6 weeks old, so not having a car or a licence is such a weird idea to me... I don't know what I'd do without one!

Fiona, good luck with getting your licence organised It's really not that scary, maybe enrol in a defensive driving course as well to give you some extra skills and boost your confidence?

[Indadhanu]

GothMum, you're very lucky to have had the experiences and the parents that you had, and that your confidence has never taken a beating. Some of us obviously aren't half as lucky as you in both areas.

[krysalyss]

Hey there. I am a driver but am becoming more and more a non-driver - by riding a bicyle. We have a kids seat called a weeride (they sit at the front not the back) for the times that DS is with me and I also ride to work more often than not. I started riding back in December but before that I hadn't ridden for at least 15 years. But it is actually very nice riding instead of driving. Just something to think about

[Astrid]

GothMum, you're very lucky to have had the experiences and the parents that you had, and that your confidence has never taken a beating. Some of us obviously aren't half as lucky as you in both areas.

:yeahthat: and I am sorry Gothmum, but I think your post was out of place even though it may have been well intended. It takes a lot of courage to admit to a fear or dislike of driving.

[Glamourcide]

I am sorry for causing any offense... obviously none was intended!! For what it's worth, I don't think there's any shame in being apprehensive about driving - even I get scared of the possibilites, and wonder sometimes about the risks of being on the road, when I read or watch news reports about the horrific road toll...

I *do* consider myself very lucky to have had the experiences I have had, and to have been lucky enough up till this point to have not had any major scares - and I do feel for those of you who *have* had negative experiences which have impacted on your confidence when it comes to driving... but again, I don't think it's anything that you should feel 'ashamed' of, at all.

So... sorry for any offense I've caused, girls I reckon good on you for not letting a lack of a driver's licence stand in your way of being free - like I said, a big part of my day-to-day existence involves a car and sometimes it's exhausting, I really wish I had the ability to get from A to B without one!

[Fleur]

I am surprised at the amount of non-drivers here, I always thought it was just me & was more than a bit embarrassed

I didn't get my license until I was 26... I had my DD at 17 and I never had the money for the test, or the car...and never really saw a need for it, as where we lived had pretty good public transport.
Although I did think it might make things easier, there was just always something else to spend the money on... so I 'got by' for years without it.

Then when we decided to move I told DH i wouldn't go until I had my license & a car... I got my auto license & then moved to the GC a month later, so I basically 'learnt' to drive (in a practical sense) here in much bigger traffic than what I was used to.

I will admit the first 18 months were pretty scary & I didn't go very far, but my confidence has grown heaps & I am now the preferred driver, I will do 2-3-4 hr trips, I don't like letting DH drive and I LOVE the independence & being able to do what I want, when I want. This will be my first baby that I have had while being a 'driver' and I can't wait to see what a difference it might make!

In my case it was mostly circumstances that kept me from driving so long, but I also think as an older 'learner' or non-driver. you are more aware of what can go wrong.. I was much more apprehensive at 25 than I was at 17 (when I first got my learners). And I don't think that's a bad thing if it makes you careful.

Although I definitely LOVE having it now, I don't regret having left it so long, I think it was just how it was for me, one day I was 'ready' to do it, sounds to me like you are too...

Good luck & happy driving!

[STARRYSKY]

hehe...just thought id let u guys know, im booked in for a lesson nest week. eek! hopefully it will go well....will let you know!