Donor Conception General Chatter #1

[MsPink]

Hello All,

Just thought I'd introduce myself. I too didn't end up with the love of my life at this crucial age. I have taken the plunge and am also using donor sperm.
In an abbreviated version, I had 1 surgery to remove a polyp in my uterus which the doc felt may act as an IUD and stop me getting pregnant. Then I went all the way thru the IVF needles, when they realised they couldn't see my ovaries as they were being blocked by giant fibroids...so operation number 2 took place. Then my original donor was 'used-up' - meaning he already fathered 10 children so I had to wait another 3 months till the next one became available...let's say it was a long year.
Anyway, a zillion needles later, I finally had my egg collection yesterday. There are 9 embryos, so it's pretty exciting, although a long way to go. Tomorrow I am having transfer and they are implanting 2 embies due to my ripe old age (well they think so anyway!!). Then I go thru the dreaded 2 week wait..
Not a lot of people really 'get' the donor thing...but I guess you gotta do what you gotta do and if you want it bad enough..you do - right?
anyway...wish me luck...

best...Lulu

[SuziQ]

Hi Lulu
I'm here to wish you luck.

Not a lot of people really 'get' the donor thing...but I guess you gotta do what you gotta do and if you want it bad enough..you do - right?

You're right, unfortunately, on both counts. Yes, the heart wants what the heart wants and nothing can really overturn that.
All the best, it's just that little bit harder doing it on your own. Am here to help you through the next 2 weeks :eek: and all!

[anney]

It is taken you a while to get to this point Lulu so hopefully you will have some luck and get pregnant first time. I will be watching and waiting, best of luck. That is funny that you used that phrase (the one SuziQ quoted) as someone said nearly exactly that to me today and it is really true.
Shannon, you are absolutely right that the rules regarding age and having finished your family do cut down the number of eligible people to donate but the rules are not absolute so can be bent a little and are really pretty sensible. Perhaps in a few more years when they have done more research and see that the drugs are not having a harmful affect, they won't have the rule about having to have finished your own family. At 32 you would still be considered a young donor so don't write yourself off.

[sushee]

Lulu,

sounds like you've been through so much, but how exciting to be on the verge of the TWW! Good luck, matey and I'll be keeping an eye out for your progress.

[sarahstarfish]

Hey Ladies

Bless you Sushee and Bellybelly, and lovely Suzi and Anney who have been campaigning behind the scenes...we can already see that this area is something most of us know so little about until we need/want to dip our big toes in for a lookysee, and how wonderful to be able to have a DC forum right here. When I first started looking for information it was just so hit and miss, but to have a collection of brainstrust in one area on a popular forum is pretty hard to beat!

Sushee, there are some great links out there that would be very useful to include, will PM you for a chat to see what you do/don't want on the site. Am very mindful that this area is for discussion purposes only and hope everyone adheres to the rules so the forum continues running.

My name is Cindy, I have donated three times and my first recipients have three children from that donation, the other two donations were unsuccessful. When I first looked into donating, I had to do a donation where I could satisfy myself that any lives born would have access to me and my children down the track if they wanted to, that my recipients would be very comfortable with the whole donor conception 'thing' and that that would translate to them being open and comfortable with discussing it with their children, so it was just another part of who they were, rather than an uncomfortable and possibly damaging family secret. Amazingly, I found three recipients who felt the same way and have had three very rewarding, although not all successful, experiences. I think from a donor's point of view the key to a great donation is to research, research, research and talk, talk, talk and think, think, think as the decision could be a life long commitment to a real live person. Forums such as this are wonderful for sounding out your thoughts and feelings and concerns and I would have probably not donated at all if I hadn't found support and information and kindness somewhere just like this. Anyway, I have been an extremely fortunate donor in that my first recipients keep in constant contact and were kind enough to share so many of the special moments of their pregnancies with me, really I have been blessed.

Anyway, so much to talk about and so many tummies growling here so best get lunch!

Thanks again BB.

Cindy

[sushee]

Hi Cindy,

great to hear from you! Yes, please do email me so that I can get some information posted for everyone. You have my email address

[MsPink]

Hello Ladies,

Thanks for the encouragement!!

2 embies transferred this morning and 5 in the deep freeze..7 good embies - pretty good for a 'so called' older person at the ripe old age of 41!!!!

So now I sit and wait. What will be will be. Am really trying not to get too excited esp. since its my first full round.

Will report in..best..Lulu

[sushee]

excellent news Lulu!

[anney]

Lulu, that is great news. 5 in the deep freeze is great for a young older one like you. (I am 45:eek: )

[SuziQ]

Hey Lulu
Great news and good luck!

[MargOZ]

That's wonderful news Lulu, I have everything crossed for you.

Just wanted to add my story - as briefly as possible! Back in 2003 I started getting more than a little down about being single and 35 and started looking into options. In early 2004 I went to my first Fertility Clinic only to be told I had fibroids and ended up having major surgery in Oct 2004 to remove 1 large and 8 smaller fibroids. Since then I've had 2 x DI and 3 x IVF attempts using donor sperm, all with no luck.

It seems I don't respond well to the IVF drugs, so I'm not really sure what my options are now. I turn 39 this year so I know my time is running out. My current FS wants me to lose 10kg before coming back to see him (that would get me down to 70kg) but that's not going to happen overnight. The Clinic did mention donor embryo's a while back so I might have to start looking back into that as I'm not sure I want to go through another full IVF cycle considering my poor response rate.

Again, if fate had dealt me a different hand I would have happily met Mr Right and had a family a long time ago. I have always wanted to be a Mum and it's tough having to think about the possibility of that never happening.

Just wanted to send lots of wonderful wishes to other women in my situation and to all the amazing donors out there too.

Marg

[MsPink]

Hi Marg,

Thanks for the good thoughts.

Can I ask you why you say you dont respond well to the IVF drugs? Did you not produce any eggs? What was the problem?

I dont like them giving up so easily. Maybe its time to change clinics??

Lulu

[SuziQ]

Hi Marg
Long time no 'see'.
Have been wondering about you - b*gger about the weight loss request. I never understand why some specialists go down this path. I mean, I'm 55kg and I'm still waiting to fall pg!!!!
Might be an idea to check out other clinics.

[Puddles03]

Hi everyone,
Good luck Lulu in your 2WW and to those looking for donors.
Thought I'd add in my story from the perspective of a recipient of donor eggs, its great to see this forum on this site. My husband and I started trying have children as soon as we were married, I was 35 at the time. Quickly found out I had diminished ovarian reserve (high fsh) but was incredibly fortunate to fall pregnant naturally whilst beginning the IVF path. After the birth of my first daughter we began trying again, I was now in full blown Premature Ovarian Failure and our attempted IVF cycles failed to produce any eggs at all. After much thought, discussion and searching for information we decided to take up a close friend's incredibly generous offer to donate her eggs to us. The whole process went very smoothly, we transferred one embie and lo and behold I got pregnant first time. My second daughter was born last year, we are so happy we took the path we did and our donor and her family continue to be a big part of our lives. There have been raised eyebrows from some along the way - true, "not a lot of peole get the donor thing". But then there is so little information around, you really only learn about it if you are looking for it.
Our life has been so enriched by the amazing gift our donor gave us, I can never thank her enough.

[SuziQ]

Hi Pud
What a beautiful story.
It's great to hear about a happy ending - certainly comforting to know there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Thanks!

[MargOZ]

Hi Suzi, great to 'see' you as well. And it's great to hear such a wonderful (and successful) story Puddles.

I'm not really sure what to think or do at the moment Lulu. I have a cousin going to the same Clinic as me and she raves about them and says the FS has a fantastic success rate and I shouldn't go anywhere else. In general I think the Clinic have been good but I don't think they've 'tried as hard' with me as they have with my cousin and her hubby. I sometimes wonder whether it is because I'm single. I've thought about changing Clinics but this is already my second (the first ran out of donor sperm) and the thought of starting all over somewhere new again is a bit daunting.

I agree that losing weight is a good thing but the FS hasn't explained what the specific problem or link is to my situation and why he thinks losing weight is going to make a difference. I've had the drugs bumped up each IVF attempt and all three times I only got two eggs, with only one being suitable for fertilising. It's heartbreaking to go through all that for almost no return. Of course if the Gods could guarantee a successful outcome I would go through it all again in a second! I wish! LOL!

At the moment I'm thinking I'll just try and get as fit and healthy as I can over the next few months and then have another chat with my FS. If he doesn't sound too enthusiastic then I will have to look at another Clinic, probably in Melbourne (I'm in Central Victoria) - as I'm not ready to give up just yet!

Making babies was NOT meant to be this difficult!!!

Marg

[MsPink]

Hi Marg,

Yup that was the exact reason I asked you about your problems. I too could lose weight but this was certainly not a condition of my FS. Admittedly, every article you read does say that the more you lose when overweight, the more chance of success you have. They are still not sure why the weight thing is a problem - but it has bee proven I'm afraid. My FS just suggested that I lose what I can and keep going.
My first round of IVF (that was not completed) they keep adjusting my FSH increasing it several times - due to blood test results. This time - she just wacked me on a higher dose and - the hormones shot up. Admittedly, the 2nd week I was terribly bloated and uncomfortable - but we suffer these things dont we..
Anyway I guess what I'm getting at is..if you are not 100% happy - move. It will make not difference if you have to do a whole cycle anyway. You are entitled to take all your test results with you. Anyway, just think about it...
Am glad you're not giving up just yet..

Lulu

[Melbo]

Great thread. Good to get the awareness happening too.

Good luck everyone.