Thanks for the support guys. I did go and see a counsellor but I didn't find it useful unfortunately. I am however feeling a lot better which helps. Mentally I am just exhausted by everything but the silver lining is that I love my husband so much and all of this stuff makes me realise how happy he makes me. I guess you take what positives you can get out of it (Sorry I know that sounds sappy, but there have been some really rough times, so that really does mean a lot).

Have emailed the clinic today with questions about our cycle and making sure that they are prepared for our meeting. I want serious answers about our cycle and a potential plan for a possible future cycle.

Murray wants us to give up on ivf and focus on adoption, but the more i think about it, the more I want to try just once more in Nov/Dec. Don't know how we will get the funds but the thought lingers...

Lou - I hope you are okay. My work do know about IVF but I think they are tired of it all, this is our 9th cycle so sick of the excuses I am sending you a huge virtual hug, you have gone through so much and I am so sorry you are dealing with this xx

Holly - I think you are right, everyone needs a hug right now. I wish we all lived closer together so we could catch up and have gentle caring hugs :-) Glad you are cycling again.