do you sometimes find it hard to cope?

[Possums]

Thanks all of you for the support and encouragement- you are all great and supportive even though all of you have things going on too- it does help me along

[dusty]

Sweetie the answer is yes I find it hard to cope. More so when I was using my own eggs than now though, as I decided back then I had done enough grieving about my own fertility and I had to move on in order to keep going with IVF and have a happier life. You and I have talked before about grieving and that it can be long and hard. I am glad you can share your pain and fears here and I hope it helps so you can build your resilience to cope with such a tough journey.
Have I ever mentioned to you the book by Stephanie Dowrick "Choosing Happiness"? A sort of bible/reference book for me

[Possums]

Thanks Dusty- you haven't mentioned that book, however I have read other books of hers and found them to be great, so I'll seek that one out ..and thanks for the support

I am feeling more together again today after a nice weekend with DH and some time with my mum (always a great support). We took time to relax and also time to assess our budget and our short term plans for things, which helped us (especially me) regain some sense of control, even if it's only an illusion on control!

[infinity]

Hi Possums,

I so feel for you hun. I completely understand the grief, anger and bitterness and those 'bad' days. You really are doing so well considering everything you've been through, you seem to be able to identify what you're feeling and why very well - and that's half the battle to getting through the days. I know this journey has changed me as person and i worry it's not in a good way - but from your posts supporting others I can tell you are a wonderful, strong, compassionate person. You have had a horrible time - more than many people go through in a lifetime - you are allowed to feel the way you do. But you keep on going and that means you are stronger than you think.

You are doing the best you can. Give yourself plenty of time and dont beat yourself up about the feelings you have.

I'm so glad you had a lovely weekend, hopefully there are many more to come. Wishing you the very best with your journey. You will get there. Lots of

[Possums]

thank you Infinity...you have dealt with a lot too and I hope that your FET brings you a BFP

[buliej]

Right now I am finding it extremely difficult to cope. I learned yesterday that my HCG levels have stopped falling (they need to get back to 0) and that this may mean that despite a clear Ultrasound done by the specialized ultra sound place I amy still be retaining "product" and thus still need a D&C. I am fine with having another D&C at this point - I need this behind me mentally and physically. BUT they won't do it unless they see something on an ultrasound.
My FS said what is going on with me is very unusual - to have a clean U/S and to have stopped bleeding (finally) but to have somewhat high hcg evels that have stopped dropping. She mentioned investigating whether this is an ectopic! But I know the U/S dr looked for this - could they miss a 5 week miscarried ectopic?
I am not sleeping - am always on the verge of tears - and am picking fights with DH (only some of which are justified IMO - he needs to stop telling me to just relax and wait and see). I can't take this wait any more and am so afraid that there will be damage that will further interfere with out ttc. Makes me want to give up and say a baby just isn't meant to be for us. Which makes me so sad I'm crying while I type.

[Sara69]

Julie