Hi Myturn,
I completely feel for you with what you are going through. But you know, at the end of the day you need to be selfish or you will go crazy. I had a lady at the bank the other day tell me how much she feels for me as we have been trying for so long and there she is with 2 kids she doesnt like~~~!!!!!!! WHAT THE??? Sometimes ppl just have no idea how lucky they are and its not until they are put in the same position you are in that they ever will.
Take some "you" time and dont beat yourself up for not wanting to be with with them all the time, you have your own life to lead, and your own problems to work through. you will only end up resenting them more if you just try to grin through it all.
Hope your october cycle brings you a beautiful, much longed for! baby. fingers crossed for you.

xxxx