Mindhugs - I'm so sorry that you are going through such a tough time again. Hopefully, you will get that miracle though. It's not over yet. My thoughts really are with you. I hope that you do, either way, find some answers to get you through. It feels totally unfair when you feel you have so much to give but have such a difficult time getting there. Hold on to your hope, I know it is so very hard sometimes, but in the end, it's what gets us through