My turn and Mrs Mac - Completely understand how you are feeling. I feel the same and then feel guilty for being so selfish (worrying about my circumstances rather than being able to celebrate the joy of others). I read this quote recently "Life is not how it's supposed to be. It's how you cope with it that makes the difference". Feel like it is a bit of a quote for my life at the moment. I have to say that this journey (and sometimes life in general) can just seem so damn lonely. If it wasn't for girls like you to chat to on here and feel so well support by, I have no doubt I would have gone completely crazy by now. So thanks girls. Got hope and believe our time too will come. FX