LT TTC & taking Clomid/Metformin 2010 #1

[Porsche]

Clamgee- I love scotland, actually concieved one of my pregnancies there, have a lot of good memories from my travels...sorry you feel you miss out, we get to wake up and read your emails though! Don't feel bad about a tinge of jealousy- I get a roaring tidal wave of jealousy/bitterness/envy/hatred whenever anyone I know gets pregnant (exceptions for a few loved girlfriends, some of who had a hard journey too) I even cried when I heard Danni Minogue was pregnant! Its wrong, but I have resigned myself to feeling like this until I get my BFP. Then you get the guilts for being such a terrible person, I have taked it over with my counsellor, because I felt so bad about it. You sound like a lovely , kind person so don't be so hard on yourself, I heard someone say on another thread the situation we are in is whats terrible, not us. Sorry AF arrived, you count day1 as the first day of red blood, don't know if that helps xx

I'm still waiting for AF, still spotting, so with my body, I woke up at midnight last night just after I'd fallen asleep and cried for an hour thinking about everything, I even accidently woke DH up now he is stressed about me crying all the time, I don't want him to be burdened with my moods, poor guy. Oh well, I will feel better when AF arrives and I can start my clomid again, am thinking of throwing in the towel soon and starting IVF, will talk it over with DH this week, i think its inevitable.

Oh Saffy I feel the exact same way today. I'm actually having a moment right now. DH was being an ass last night and also again this morning about me being moody. I know I'm a moody person but he doesn't help the fact that he just annoys me all the time. He's always putting his hands on or in my face always smaking me because he says I've been naughty. Look I know it's in a loving way but when I am moody I snap at him and I'm mean to him.

I know I'm doing this stuff and I really can't help it. I know I'm being mean and moody I don't want to be like that but I really don't know how to stop. I do this stuff before I even think. I feel like such a terrible person because he so doesn't deserve it. He really is very good to me and that's how I behave.

DH goes away in July for about 6-7 weeks. That is really going to dissrupt out TTC chances. Do we even bother to try before or do we wait until he is back. I'm really having doubts today. I'm doing the why me's, it's not fair etc....

I don't want to stop trying. We came sooo close only to fail. I never ever thought I would have a MC. Those things happen to other people not to yourself. And I know logically it was nothing that I did that caused it but you just can't help but think was I not happy enough that I was pregnant, maybe I should have lost this extra 6kgs I've put on.

I thought about writting DH a letter I'm better at expressing myself in writting. I really have no one but you guys to talk to about this stuff. I feel a bit isolated. I did have a best friend but we had a falling out about 9 months ago and I haven't spoken to her since. I have never had heaps of friends well not ones that are close. So I really am in it on my own so to speak.

Any way as I said just having a moment. I'll get over it. It's onwards and upwards from here.

Clamgee - I wouldn't worry about feeling the way you do. I feel exactly the same at the moment.

[RhiChiChi]

Oh Saffy I feel the exact same way today. I'm actually having a moment right now. DH was being an ass last night and also again this morning about me being moody. I know I'm a moody person but he doesn't help the fact that he just annoys me all the time. He's always putting his hands on or in my face always smaking me because he says I've been naughty. Look I know it's in a loving way but when I am moody I snap at him and I'm mean to him.

I know I'm doing this stuff and I really can't help it. I know I'm being mean and moody I don't want to be like that but I really don't know how to stop. I do this stuff before I even think. I feel like such a terrible person because he so doesn't deserve it. He really is very good to me and that's how I behave.

DH goes away in July for about 6-7 weeks. That is really going to dissrupt out TTC chances. Do we even bother to try before or do we wait until he is back. I'm really having doubts today. I'm doing the why me's, it's not fair etc....

I don't want to stop trying. We came sooo close only to fail. I never ever thought I would have a MC. Those things happen to other people not to yourself. And I know logically it was nothing that I did that caused it but you just can't help but think was I not happy enough that I was pregnant, maybe I should have lost this extra 6kgs I've put on.

I thought about writting DH a letter I'm better at expressing myself in writting. I really have no one but you guys to talk to about this stuff. I feel a bit isolated. I did have a best friend but we had a falling out about 9 months ago and I haven't spoken to her since. I have never had heaps of friends well not ones that are close. So I really am in it on my own so to speak.

Any way as I said just having a moment. I'll get over it. It's onwards and upwards from here.

Clamgee - I wouldn't worry about feeling the way you do. I feel exactly the same at the moment.

Hey hun, just want to you know that I have been where you have been & sometimes still go there. Just wanted to offer my support & huge hugs. x

[Saffy]

Tammara- thanks hon, it was me that said that, I might make an appt and go and ask about it, he (FS) wanted me to rush straight into IVF but I have taken a step back and we are giving clomid a few months to work. Thanks for your advice, I hope everything is still good with you? xx

Porsche- hope you are feeling better today? Have you considered talking to a counsellor? If you go to your gp and get a referral and mental health plan you get 12 sessions rebatable from medicare ( I pay $110 and get $70 back). I am not the type of person who is keen on counselling but my sister is a counsellor and forced me last year when I was really struggling and a bit of a mess, it is worthwwhile you can tell them anything and they are very supportive and helpful. Otherwise do you have sisters/aunties/mother you can talk to? You shouldn't face it alone and men sometimes don't/can't understand as much as women. Hugs to you xx

Good news Bec! Hope the symptoms keep getting stronger,its sounds great to me!