Welcome to the new chat thread from those members who are Long-Term TTC after miscarriage or loss.
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{sarah} Admin SeaChange marcellus Lenny
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Hi Murrycod,
Thanks for sending me this link. I have not been logged on but I have been lurking and I have everything crossed for you. Congratulations on making a gjillion eggies too that must have been agony. You are so my inspiration and if I have to do IVF i will be picking your brains about the whole thing. I was also going to ask for more info on the NK test. I've seen it can be a bt but you mentioned a biopsy? I think it is something I'd like to follow up.
Hi Porsche - fellow Queenslander. Not sure I have been posting much since you joined so hi.
AFM-I am 10dpo and 95% sure I am not pg. We have one more IUI then IVF which I really am not looking forward too. I had a major melt down last Wednesday and cried all night about what I will do if I never have a child. The next day I felt much calmer and so much relieved to have a plan (I'm going to sell my investment property and go to Vietnam for 3 months and reassess what I want to do and probably end up running an orphanage or something !!). Before this it had almost felt like my life would be pointless without a child. I also gave all my baby stuff to my friend so it is not in my house taunting me about how ridiculous it is that I have draws full of baby stuff and no baby.
Glad to be on a new thread.
Hello everyone Lenny thanks so much for the new thread there are a good few of us that need it !
I am around day 24 depending on my cycle length, so in the TWW after having a mc in sept 09 at 12wks 5days I only found out there was a problem when I went for a scan after slight spotting !
Well its been a long road since then and I am on the wrong side of 40 to be able to get any kind of help at 45 so I pray that one day I will get my BFP again and a healthy bub however long it takes,
Since joining BB my life has changed so much I have managed to greive and be happy and sad with people who understand how it feels its wonderful.
Hey murraycod not long till we test I think I will wait for you to test if AF hasn't arrived for me by then I may test on the same day !
Sunbeam Hi sorry you have had a rough time of it lately. SO brave of you to give all your stuff away just think how exciting it will be having to buy it all again when you get your BFP. Think the NK test is a good idea for you as you have been pg a few times and it may be the key !
Porshe how you doing not long now and you will be back in the race so to speak when AF turns up hope shes not too long away !
Hello to everyone else who will come and join us in here !
Sunbeam, so nice to see you
I thaught of you straight away when I saw this new thread, I knew it would get you to come out of the woodwork!!! Mwah !!!
Honey, please don't feel down about IVF if this is where you are to lead. Honey, it is actually so exciting. Way more involved yes, and a tad more invasive yes, but when you give that first needle you become addicted to the whole process and you will suprise yourself how much you learn and enjoy each part of it.
As for the NKcells, haven't heard of a BT for it, the biopsy is the only way they can test the tissue of the endometrium, they take a biopsy 4-5 days before AF when lining is at it's thickest.
Worst and best procedure I have ever had I tell you!! They are a huge factor for recurrent M/C. The studies for it are still very new, I would love to know of anyone who has also been diagnosed and had a healthy baby after being treated.
Honey, all the best for this cycle, only you know deep down what's happening this time, hey, I won't sugar it up too much, you have a place to fall if this cycle is a bust, it is right here mate X
Crafty girl!!!! M'e English lassie!!!! Gidday!!!! I promised myself that I would not POAS this time round. You have to help drag me all the way then If you are going to hold out with me....or we could hide and POAS together!!! NO!! Don't give me any ideas, encouragement or excuse to go there. Not this time.....yet
Oh this is great! Thanks so much Lenny - we needed it! Just this morning I was thinking about it again and wishing we had another thread to post to. I think there will be others joining us soon (sad as that is but we have each other and that's great).
Girls, I'm knackered after a long day so will just pop in to say Yah and Hi and will be back with more tomorrow when I've had some sleep to read up properly.
Hi guys. I'm really happy for this thread too. Quietly, I've had such a hard day today, maybe this thread was a 'meant to be'. Today was my 'due date' for my one and only pregnancy. I'm a midwife and did two births tonight and I just wanted to tell the lovely ladies that my baby was due today too. I can pretend to people that I'm positive and realistic about everything but I think I'm still just so devastated by our loss (in Nov at 12wks after 4 IVF stim cycles. Have prem ovarian failure & now looking at donor cycle). Boy I wish our little one had stayed. Grief is a long road.
Sevie I wan to give you a big HUG. I can't imagine how tough yesterday was for you.
Crafty I've got spotting this morning so that means AF is close at hand. I'm soooooo excited. Never thought i'd say that.
Murraycod how are you feeling? I hope that emby is picking a nice comfy spot to kick back in.
Sunbeam I'm pleased to "meet" you. We aill be starting IVF at the end of June if this cycle of clomid isn't successful (hurry up af). We were going to do IUI but DH goes awya at the end of Julky so I don't think we'll have time to slip a cycle in. We figured we would go straight to IVF so hopefully we get some frosties (like Murraycod lol) so I can continue whilst he is away. Which is all of maybe 1 cycle lol. Ahh well I'm not impatient much. I thiught if we did di IUI perhaps we could freeze DH sperm and do it that way??? Don't know.
Yipppeeeeee! a thread i feel is more suited for me thanks lenny.
Hi Murrycod,Crafty,Sunbeam,Alice my my gals from the other thread and hello to the other girls it will be good to get to know you.
This thread will be great i ejoyed the chit chat with the other thread but i just found all the newbies who popped in for a very short time some even days before they got a BFP was just doing my head in and don't get me wrong anyone ttc after M/C deserves a BFP but it is a totally different feeling when you just can't seem to get pregnant after a M/C and you are trying month after month and all the others are comming and going in a short time it was actually making me feel worse and rang home my failure every month.
Anyway i am excited.
Sunbeam-i have an appt with a new cheaper FS next week as it has been 6months ttc and 14 since losing Abbi but i worked out we tried a few time after we lost Abbi and before the ivf so all up we have tried 10 cycles so hopefully we will start a ivf cycle at the end of june beginning of july if the waiting list isnt to long we are going the public system for cheaper ivf just to get pregnant then we will worry about the SLO at 12 weeks we just need to get there first.
I am 9dpo today AF is due the 26th i feel like you 95% sure i am not pregnant although my temp which dropped a bit yesterday went back up a bit today only time will tell.
Crafty- yes i did read john travoltas wife is pregnant at 47 i did read a comment on the net that they used a egg donor but it is not confirmed i did meet a lady last night at work who is pregnant at 46 she looked about 56 pretty wrinkly and she was telling us girls it was an accident she thought she was going through menopause so didnt know she was pregnant until she felt movement they are not real happy about another baby because there kids have all left home and her hubby just had his 60th birthday i thought it always happens to the people who are not trying and don't want it.
Hi alice and porsche.
Murrycod- well i know everything thats going on with you seeing we email each other every other day have you managed to um! how should i say this off load a dump yet you poor constipated thing.
And you know that this thread has started you will get your BFP and then we will have to start a pregnancy after LTTC after m/c or loss so we can join you.
well i better get my kids off to school i will be back later.
I too am very pleaesd to see this thread open yeah. And huge Thanks Murraycod for sending me the link as I wouldn't have found it otherwise so massive mmmwwwwaaaaahh.
Sevie my last night was similar to yours (but it wasn't my EDD) I too work as a midwife. I am going to write about my shift elsewhere as I don't think this is the right thread to do so (as it involves loss) it can be so difficult working in middy and questioning why it hasn't been easier for us when it seems to be so easy for others. I am so sorry about the loss of your precious bub and so glad you found us.
Murraycod I am praying bub is nesting in and you have lots of little snowbubs. Sounds like you should have a number. FX
Well most know my story but for those who don't we have been ttc 2years officially (unofficially 1yr prior to that but I was BF and AF didn't return for part of that and then I weaned DD and got into it much more seriously) we had a very early loss (the day after AF was due, I wouldn't have known if the POAS wasn't positive) 3months into officially ttc, then 9months later I finally fell pregnant again only to have another loss at 5.5weeks (took 2weeks to bleed and they thought it was possibly PUL) then by some miracle I fell pregnant 3months after that in June 09 but that time the pregnancy was definately ectopic and I lost my right tube. Its now been coming up to a year and I haven't been pregnant since. During my surgery they discovered I had endo and PID which was a huge shock as to my knowledge I hadn't had any risk factors to get it. My remaining tube is damaged by adhesions although opened and DH has sperm issues. This is suppose to be our last month ttc naturally (we were only going to for 6months before IVF but DH got cold feet at the end so we pushing it back a few months) but now we are only weeks from starting I have no idea what is happening and I feel very unprepared and not ready to start now. I am thinking I should even wait another month before starting the pill. Now its me stalling I don't know what has come over me. I actually think its my weight which I can't budge. I am concerned I am too fat for it to work but when I start a diet it only lasts a day or two before I am looking for comfort food. Arrr thats basically my story.
Ferrals, Sunbeam, Porshe, Alice and crafty. So nice to see you and praying this thread is stacked with BFP's in no time.
Ferrals and Crafty I think I have told you before perhaps about a similar story ferrals mentioned about a lady who was 47 when she had her bub. She found out when she was 26weeks also when she thought menopause was well and truely over. When I saw her she said she only just stopped crying about it (her youngest after new bub was 20) as she didn't want to make the baby cry.
Ferrals!!!!! You cheeky, cheeky tart !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Atleast i can laugh now without my tummy hurting!!! But cheers babe, thanks for asking, I did a decent.....poop yesterday LOL!!!!!
OMG now I'm all shy !!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!
So nice to see you here, and we all feel how you feel, it was getting hard for me too.
So great to be here thouigh!!!
Sevie, welcome honey, you are sure to make some great friends here X
It is so lovely to see you here, thanks for the PM, glad you got mine XX
Thanks for being strong enough to share your journey so far Mildez, you are one Brave girl!! XX
Don't be scared honey, I don't think our minds are ever fully ready to start this rollercoaster again, as much as our brains tell us we need to. So you need to just take a leap of faith, and after that first leap Mildez, anotherone follows XX We will be here for you.
Porshe, DH and I wished we had gone straight to IVF, but that was only because we were unsuccessfull at the IUI 3 times!! But now, who knows if this NKcells are responsible for that??
Do what is best for you both XX
Alice, hope you got a nice big sleep, I agree with you, this thread is needed, and great!
Sunbeam, hope you are doing ok X
Crafty, you are still in with a chance (huggs) XX
AFM, well, still crampy, and I hate crampy. 3dp4dt, and a loooooong way to go. God give me the strength to get through this, with a positive frame of mind, because it easily slipps to a negative one.......
Mildez-glad you can join us looks like a few of us are heading down the ivf road and if you need to talk about your shift i think here is as good a place as any to talk about it we are here for each other and we all have had a loss i know for me i need to bring it up from time to time just mentioning Abbi's name keeps her real to me but in saying that you talk about it where you feel most comfortable.
Sevie-sorry i didnt reply to your post in my last post i must have missed it being a midwife must be hard and i know how you are feeling to have lost a bub and now facing ovarian failure that is my concern my FSH level is at the high end of normal which worries the hell out of me my last FS said as i have loads of follies and i responded really well to a low dose of puregon (for those who don't know we did a PGD ivf cycle for genetic reasons only) and she said my fertility and my DH's is fine and we should have no problem getting pregnant and she said i wont hit the big M for another 15 years but here we are still not pregnant and my Naturopath said your FSH needs to be below 8 to fall pregnant mine was 8 the first month and then 10.5 the next i have read plenty of women who have fallen pregnant with way higher FSH levels but it is still in the back of my head that my level is a sign of DOR even though my ovaries are not showing any signs they are still full of follies i just worry why is my FSH a little high i am taking natural herbs to try and help it and i am terrified of having it retested because what if they tell me it is higher again.
Sorry i am rambling i guess i am trying to reasure myself that i am still fertile.
MurryCod - thanks again for sending me the link to this thread and glad you are feeling somewhat 'lighter' today There's not much left to be shy about when IVF is concerned!! Ah it's good to be here!
Hi Porsche, Sunbeam, Crafty, Ferrals, Mildez from the other thread - lovely to have you all here
Sevie - I can't imagine how hard that would be. How are you today? I can't find any of the little icons but wanted to give you a cyber hug.
Sunbeam - I know that feeling of what will life be like if I never have kids and that life will be pointless without them. Over the years I've slowly come to terms with that as best that I can. I have close relationships with my friends children and I have taken steps in the last year to return to making art again after a very long break. We plan overseas trips (not that we've been for a while) and we have been considering fostering for a very long time. Adoption just seems too hard after so much waiting already and we are probably too old now anyway. I will always feel grief over the years of fertility I lost and for the baby who couldn't stay with us. But it gets easier in the sense that you come to some peace with it. I hope you don't have to come to peace with it - I hope you can have your babies. I have avoided, then given in, then given away, baby things over the years. I hope yours will come back to you xx
Most of you know my story, and it's a long one of 9 years TTC so don't blame you for not reading anymore but here goes anyway: At 32 DH and I decided we wanted to have kids. I had three ovarian cysts removed prior to that, the last one at 30, but was told both tubes were clear, and there were no signs of endo. We tried for a year unsuccessfully before seeing an FS who sent us for tests - my hormones levels were all fine so he recommended we try for another 6 months. Not long after that I was having a lot of pain and discomfort and I knew something wasn't right but my GP thought I was just anxious about TTC so wouldn't send me for any more tests. Eventually I couldn't get out of bed and saw a different GP who admitted me straight to hospital.
Long story short - I was diagnosed with severe endo and another six months later had two big operations during which time I lost one tube, the other is damaged with adhesions, and one ovary had a massive endo cyst in it. It took me six months to recover from the ops during which time my BIL suicided and two days after the funeral on his way to work my DH was bashed and hospitalised and had to be off work for 12 weeks (one of his atttackers is in prison for robbery in company causing grievous bodily harm)(he is lucky to be alive). It took us 18 months to get through the court case for his bashing and inquest into his brothers death so by the time we started IVF I was 37. We got 5 day 5 blasties from 6 eggs but none of them took (I had 3 transfers from that cycle over 1 year). Our second IVF we got 3 day 5 blasties and had 2 transfers over 6 months and none of them took, by which time I was 39. I had another operation for an ovarian cyst and was told I was looking at having a hysterectomy. I was devastated as it was the week before my 40th birthday. That week my brother rang to say his partner (44) had fallen pregnant on their first go at IVF. I was crushed. Took me six months to pick myself up and face another go at IVF but the cycle got canceled because I was sick and not responding well.
Finally last August my FS sent me for the NK biopsy, a whole lot of blood tests for lupus etc and they came back with elevated levels. Why didn't we do these tests earlier? He recommended I go on DHEA to see if it improved my egg numbers and we did that for three months before starting our last IVF in November last year. I ended up getting sick at the beginning of it with bronchitis but turns out that was a blessing because the antibiotics I took probably are one of the reasons we got a call before Christmas saying we got our BFP! We were stunned - and ecstatic - but sadly we lost the bub at 8 weeks. So here we are now, trying one last time (again). I'm doing some TCM and acupuncture again (figure it can only help) and we are hoping to do our final attempt at IVF in June. I am feeling positive and hopeful and trying to just take one day at a time.
Being with you all here, has been the best thing that has happened to me in this whole painful journey. I have finally found somewhere that others understand some of ups and downs of TTC when all the odds seem set against you. So thank you so much and looking forward to sharing our experiences on this new thread xx Jacqui (Alice is the name we gave our little one)
A great thread, and i myself would have used it after so many losses TTC, Alice i will be following your journey and wish you the very best with your next cycle, did you use clexane or prednislone wiith your last BFP?
Ferrals- arrr my sweet so good to hear from you again I have been thinking of you since you left and longing to hear from someone you email that you are UTD. Now I'll get to hear it first hand I'm with you, it was great on the other thread but this far along I feel we are all in a differnet place on our journey.
Murrycod - I know I should feel better about IVF but I have seen the heartaching ups and down of you and ferrals and others and it seems so long winded and so many stages where things can go wrong. I will definitley be getting the NK biopsy before I start IVF. Thanks for no sugar coating, after 4 pgs I think I am pretty cluey to what I feel before a BFP. Had a few cervix niggles but no sore boobs which has always been my best sign. Won't POAS till sunday when I go for breakfast with Donor daddy.
I am in awe of the midwives on this site, I have no idea how hard it must be to hand people thier beautiful new babies day in and day out when it is all you long for yourselves. I am also so over stories of people having babies they did not really want or deserve like the women I hear of yesterday who has managed 3 more kids even sice she got hooked on heroin!!!
Hi to all the ladies I have not yet got to meet. For those who don't know me I'm gay and single. I started this journey Feb. 06 started temping and taking vitamins as an ex boyfreind of mine (was straight once!) had agreed to be my donor. In the Aug. he backed out, not ready to be a dad. I was devasteted he is my best freind and I could think of no one better to be my baby's dad. We remain best freinds(we are going out for dinner tonight) but I took 6 months before I could even think about looking for someone else. A few months later a gay friend of mine agreed and we got to the testing stage only to find out he was HIV+ and did not know. After supporting him through this I enlisted my freinds help and got them to pretty much ask any guy they met if he wanted to be a dad then in Nov. 07 Donor Daddy organised my freind's car loan and the rest is history. We did home insems. from Feb. 08 till Oct. 09 and had 2 pgs and mc both at 7 weeks on Anzac day a year apart. We are now on IUI 5 and have had 1 chem. pg and a pg where nothing actually developed which I'm still a bit confused by. We have one more IUI then will probably move to IVF.
My body id being cruel to me my temp rose again today it dropped to 36.6 on 8dpo then went to 36.66 at 9dpo and now 10dpo it is 36.71 usually it just keeps going down from 9dpo unti AF turns up.
Otherwise i feel nothing nada zip zero zilch.
How you going murrycod hope your hanging in there not to long now are you going to poas at all before your BT or are you going to stick it out and be strong?
I thought i'd better do what sunbeam and alice did and just give the ladies that do know me a quick run down on why i am here.
Basicly i have always been fertile my whole life with my ex husband i fell pregnant 5 times resulting in 3 boys who are the reason for me walking this earth after my marriage failed i met the love of my life and my soulmate who i am crazy about he has one daughter he rarely gets to see (we are fighting it out in court) so we decided to have one baby together and after 20 weeks of trying with no aid's other than a maybe baby i fell pregnant with our daughter Abbi but after U/S and many many speacialists and professors they all agreed she was not viable with life (there terms) so we had a choice to end the pregnancy at 19 weeks 5 days or continue and she would die at birth we decided to do the kindest thing for our girl and not prolong it.
After a few months all the autopsy and genetic tests came back Abbi had smith lemli opitz syndrome and my DH and i were carriers for it we have a 1 in 4 chance of every baby being effected so we tried a cycle of PGD IVF to test our embryos we ended up with one embryo suitable for testing the others were a grade 3 and fine for ivf but not for the pgd test our one embryo was affected so we couldnt use it and after a cost of $14,000 we could not afford to do anymore PGD so we decided to take the risk and try naturally and get the baby tested at 11-12 weeks but unfortunately we have been unable to fall pregnant and there is no reason other than age or maybe my FSH level being a tad high but i was told it wouldnt effect getting pregnant just yet or hubby's great sperm he has super sperm but in our ivf cycle a lot of our embryos fragmented and that was due to DNA damage from the sperm because of diet lifestye so we are about to see a new FS and find out what is going on.
So that is my story in a nutshell i better get my kids off to school i will be back later.
Moderator
LTTTC after Miscarriage and Loss
You cheeky, cheeky tart !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Atleast i can laugh now without my tummy hurting!!! But cheers babe, thanks for asking, I did a decent.....poop yesterday LOL!!!!!
There's not much left to be shy about when IVF is concerned!! Ah it's good to be here!
I'm with you, it was great on the other thread but this far along I feel we are all in a differnet place on our journey.
then in Nov. 07 Donor Daddy organised my freind's car loan and the rest is history. We did home insems. from Feb. 08 till Oct. 09 and had 2 pgs and mc both at 7 weeks on Anzac day a year apart. We are now on IUI 5 and have had 1 chem. pg and a pg where nothing actually developed which I'm still a bit confused by. We have one more IUI then will probably move to IVF.
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