My body id being cruel to me my temp rose again today it dropped to 36.6 on 8dpo then went to 36.66 at 9dpo and now 10dpo it is 36.71 usually it just keeps going down from 9dpo unti AF turns up.
Otherwise i feel nothing nada zip zero zilch.
How you going murrycod hope your hanging in there not to long now are you going to poas at all before your BT or are you going to stick it out and be strong?
I thought i'd better do what sunbeam and alice did and just give the ladies that do know me a quick run down on why i am here.
Basicly i have always been fertile my whole life with my ex husband i fell pregnant 5 times resulting in 3 boys who are the reason for me walking this earth after my marriage failed i met the love of my life and my soulmate who i am crazy about he has one daughter he rarely gets to see (we are fighting it out in court) so we decided to have one baby together and after 20 weeks of trying with no aid's other than a maybe baby i fell pregnant with our daughter Abbi but after U/S and many many speacialists and professors they all agreed she was not viable with life (there terms) so we had a choice to end the pregnancy at 19 weeks 5 days or continue and she would die at birth we decided to do the kindest thing for our girl and not prolong it.
After a few months all the autopsy and genetic tests came back Abbi had smith lemli opitz syndrome and my DH and i were carriers for it we have a 1 in 4 chance of every baby being effected so we tried a cycle of PGD IVF to test our embryos we ended up with one embryo suitable for testing the others were a grade 3 and fine for ivf but not for the pgd test our one embryo was affected so we couldnt use it and after a cost of $14,000 we could not afford to do anymore PGD so we decided to take the risk and try naturally and get the baby tested at 11-12 weeks but unfortunately we have been unable to fall pregnant and there is no reason other than age or maybe my FSH level being a tad high but i was told it wouldnt effect getting pregnant just yet or hubby's great sperm he has super sperm but in our ivf cycle a lot of our embryos fragmented and that was due to DNA damage from the sperm because of diet lifestye so we are about to see a new FS and find out what is going on.
So that is my story in a nutshell i better get my kids off to school i will be back later.
Wow, even though I have known you girls for a while now, and known all of your stories of heartbreak and bits of happiness in between, it really hits home, to read your stories again. I guess somewhene in this whole TTC journey we are in, we get so obsessed with eachothers 'symptoms' and 'cycle days' that I guess, it's just nice to have a reminder that there have been some seriously tough times in our lives, and we are very fragile girls.
My story feels a little insignificant to reading the others, yes my history of TTC hurts just as much as anything, but really getting to know you girls, has given me grace to move forward and keep trying, even after so many years.
I have at the top of my sig, TTC since 2005, but actually that's wrong.
When I was 21, I got married to my highschool sweetheart of 7 years, and was trying to have a baby then. ( months after we were married I found he was having an affair so the marriage ended.
I guess you could say that I have not used any sort of contraceptive for 10 years now, and still nothing has happened.
It wasn't untill I met the love of my Life, my now DH, we became seriouse about trying to have a family, so we looked into seeing a FS. We have always been told 'There is nothing wrong', 'We can't find anything' 'You are perfectly healthy'.
My DH and I got married last year in January, and a month later I realised I had missed my period. Much to our suprise, the best wedding gift ever, we found out we were having a baby! The excitement was short lived, the one day I will always try to forget, but never will, is the day we lost our preciouse miracle at 8wks.
I miscarried naturally, and have desperately tried to be pregnant again, to no avail.
Each month that goes by, seems to hurt more than the one before. The anguish becomes stronger, more friends of ours are now onto their second cildren, I hate it.
I feel as though I have turned into a grumpy barron old horse at the age now of 30, and shy away from children when I can. And that is not me.
So after many pointless visits to FS, 3 failed attempts at IUI, we moved onto IVF in Adelaide with Repromed.
After our 1st failed cycle, I was diagnosed with NKcells in my uterus, and am now in the middle of a dreaded TWW on my 2nd Cycle.
I feel crampy, quietly disheartened, and don't feel as though it has taken.
I just don't see how anything can survive the AF cramping I have had, since ET.
I know I had 27 eggies removed only 1 week ago, and that has to still hurt yes, but cramping just aint a good sign for me, never has been XX
Awww hun cramping is a sign of either AF or pregnancy i get exactly the same when i am pregnant i always feel like AF is comming it is when i get the heavy dragging insides that feel like i have just BD for hours that i know its AF but you and i both know those horrible pesseries don't help i cramped heaps more than AF pain and i didnt even have a TF don't drop your bundle just yet that is my job.
Hello ladies
Have been reading everyones stories and its so sad we are all on here in this TTC journey all for different reasons in a way but all for the same reason IYKWIM we have all suffered a loss within the last 12mnths and the pain is still quite raw for most of us although not on a daily basis its still there hiding away ready to pounce on us at the slightest thing ie a pg anouncment or AF turning up or just seeing a tiny baby in a pram when out shopping ! Well girls we are all here because we need to comfort each other and give each other hope and lessen the fear that we maynot get the long awaited BFP !
I am so glad I found all of you as without you all I would be a total mess !
Anyway that out the way I have a story too but I feel sometimes that I am just being gready, as I have 9 kids already yes 9 between the ages of 25 and 2yrs I had my 1st at 20 when married to my 1st hubby. I fell pg again a yr later and although my marriage was not going that well I was so glad I was going to be a mum again, anyway at my 16wk scan I was told my baby had died at 11wks and I needed a D&C to remove the fetus ! I was so upset didn't know what happened, went for a scan but came out being told my baby wasn't alive ! anyway after the D&C I didn't cope too well and eventually my marriage ended I eventually met and moved in with my now DH, my son was 2yrs, We never used contraception and 3yrs later we knew something was wrong anyway we found out my DH had only 1 million sperm in his count and out of those 50% had something wrong ie bent tails and so on. We tried IUI 3 times with his sperm but all failed, this was back in the late 80s and IVF was not an option for us so we decided to try IUI with donor sperm, on the 2nd attempt we got a BFP and a lovely son in Sept 91, we decided to go back to the clinic again 2yrs later for another try of IUI with donor sperm, to our suprise we were pg naturally and were so amazed ! anyhow it was short lived as I mc a few weeks later I was told to wait for a normal AF then start the clomid for IUI anyhow it never happened as I was pg again and had my 1st daughter in march 95 in oct 95 I was pg again, my son was born in june 96, I then went on the pill ! 3yrs later we decided to try again after a whole year I got a BFP mc at 5wks then pg again in April 2000 my son was born Jan 2001 but with many probs ie heart,lung and digestion as well as cranial stenosis, over the next 2yrs he was in and out of hospital 4 majour ops and many times didn't think he would live, When he was 9mnths old I realized I felt ill from being pg again ! I was so scared as I had a sick child and now was UTD again, anyway my son was born july 02 no probs, so worry over ! anyway I went on to have 2 more girls and a boy over the next 6yrs. I did mc inbetween each of them and took over a yr to get a BFP but I did it ! I never gave up hope and knew that the misscarriages were natures way ! However Last year in June at the age of 44 I got a BFP again and was so thrilled as it had taken me 2yrs and a mc, but we decided this was to be the last as now we were well in our 40s. Well in Sept 09 at 12wks 5days I went for a scan as I had a slight brown spotting and was told it was a BLIGHTED OVUM not a baby in the sac. I had a D&C and its hit me so hard this time I guess the reason is I am now 45 I know my hubby has had sperm issues and know my time is about run out, but I just have this empty feeling and great sadness that my baby never came after 12wks of pg symptoms and all the emotional thoughts that go with being pg the planning and the buying new stuff then NOTHING !
So thats me today 45 and hoping to fall pg again, but every month that goes by its getting harder and harder to stay positive.
Sorry for the long winded story I am not really deserving of having anymore I gues I should be happy with what I have but after loosing 5 angels you just never get over it ! I would just like to go into my old age in happiness watching my last little miracle grow up not be in sadness remembering the Angel that didn't get to stay with me ! But I know the clock is against me ! but I am a gambler I suppose and if theres a will theres a way, Just a shame Im too old for any help when I could do with some, sometimes feels like I have come full circle ! back to square 1.
What I really wanted to say was NEVER GIVE UP ! even when the odds are stacked against you miracles do happen they really do sometimes nature does goe against what the DRS say and you could end up with a miracle of your very own ! We were told no need for contraception you won't get pg naturally with a sperm count like that !!!!!! How wrong they were !
Anyway I think I have missed out again this month as Ive got low backache and just waiting for the usual headache then AF will be here I just know she will,
I have really learned a lot about you in your stories. You join a forum halfway through and you never know what the others have been through. My story isn’t a long one compared to some others but here it is.
In 2000 I married my first husband I knew it was a big mistake then but did it anyway. We had been trying for 2 years to get pregnant with out much success. I had never had a regular AF. I was 21 and didn’t “know” how to get pregnant IYKWIM. By the 2 year mark I was pretty frustrated and I did think to myself “hmm maybe something is wrong”. I don’t know why I did a HPT but I did and it came up + straight away. April 2001 my DS was born.
I did briefly go back on BC after DS was born but I wanted my children to be close together. So I went off of the pill and pretty much straight away I was pregnant with DD. November 2002 DD was born. I had no problems in my pregnancies. I had small 6 pound babies both born naturally.
Long story short I left my then husband and met my now fantastic DH. We were married July 2009. DH doesn’t have any children and I always knew he wanted them so we decided to go off of BC and “see” what happens. That was the February 2009 before we were married.
As I mentioned I’ve never had regular AF so I figured I needed to have a pap smear (I was over due by about 5 years) and I thought I might discuss with him about my failing to get pregnant and my irregular AF (10 years late). That was roughly 6 months after stopping BC. It was the June of 09.
He sent me off for BT and a dildo cam. Bloods came back as “highly suggestive” of PCOS. Dildo cam came back inconclusive. The sonographer (?) didn’t look for cysts she focused on some rather large veins I have on my ovaries (which 7 months later I found out to be perfectly normal for someone who has had children). So right up until Feb 2010 I was never confirmed as having PCOS.
Any way my GP referred me to an OB/Gyn and I met with her the following July. Right before our wedding. She looked at my bloods and prescribed me clomid that very day. Lucky for me I had my Af and I could start it straight away. So we got married and we were due to O on our honeymoon.
Moving on 4 cycles later and no pregnancy. So Ob/Gyn books me in for a laparoscopy. We had to put it off until the January as PHI didn’t kick in till then. She said I was to keep up the clomid to keep my cycles regular and if we get UTD then fantastic but if not then the lap it was.
So cycle 5 I think I may have had a chemical pregnancy as I got a + HPT on an IC but not on a crystal clear. I figured at the time it may have been an evap line. But now I think it wasn’t. Then we come to cycle 6 and at the end of this cycle I was due for my lap. I had to put off the lap till the beginning on February as I O’d late (which is why I think I had a chemical) and the lap was booked in my TWW and if I was UTD that would not have been good. So 30th January Af arrived. That was a Saturday and the following Monday 1st Feb 10 was my lap. Keep going with the clomid.
Laparoscopy went fine all clear in the pelvis area, tubes are, clear little bit of endo on the outside of my uterus but overall no problems. Was told to keep going with the TTC .
I had also booked an appointment with QFG on the 17 (I think) of Feb so we go along to see Dr De Ambrosis and get our options. DH and I come away with a plan and now we have to wait the dreaded TTW out. I was 4DPO when we saw Dr De.
The end of my TTW was up and I had been HPT’ing since 9DPO with faint BFP’s. so it looked like we wouldn’t need other options. Yay!
So we go to my regular Ob/Gyn for my post op appointment and tell her the good news. I was 6weeks 3 days at that appointment and heard the heart beat and DH was very excited as you could imagine. We made an appointment for 4 weeks time. So we walk out of there with plans to be made and excited for the 12 week scan to see Cleatus (DH named our bub) on the screen.
4 weeks later and we sit in the waiting room all excited and anxiously waiting. We were by that stage 10 weeks 3 days. She gets us in the room and she says lets have a look at bub. So I lie on the bed and she gets the ultrasound and then she say’s it doesn’t look good. There is nothing in the sac and definitely no heartbeat. She sends me off that very afternoon to get another urgent scan to confirm her diagnosis and the sonographer repeats her words Blighted Ovum. She left us alone for a bit and I had a cry. I couldn’t believe it. I had absolutely no clue. No bleeding, no cramping, nothing.
So we head back to Ob/Gyn and I’m booked in the very next day for a D&C. That was that absolute worst day of my life. I was supposed to be 10 weeks 4 days and looking forward to our 12 week scan and to tell all the family our good news. But no I was having my baby ripped out of me. And just to add insult to injury the nurse who was looking after me after the D&C was having a conversation with other staff members outside of my curtain about her 10 week pregnancy! She was describing how big the baby was, how much amniotic fluid it was in etc…. To me it felt like hours but in reality it was more like 5 mins. My world had just fallen apart and I had to stay and listen to that?
Any way fast forward to today and I’m anxiously waiting for AF post D&C so I can start clomid again while we wait to start IVF at the end of June.
Murrycod - it is my lack of cramping that makes me know I'm not UTD, I get much more AF type feelings when I'm about to get a BFP. Isn't it funny how we all look for different symptoms. Hang in there babe, thinking of you.
Ladies it has been sad and heart warming at the same time to read all your stories again. I agree with murrycod that we are all very fragile but what comes through to me far more is how unbelievably strong and brave we all are. It's not just the tough TTC journey we've had but all the other crap life has thrown at us too and yet we somehow find the strength to keep going in the hope of fulfilling our dreams. Even though it is only in internet world I still feel so lucky to know you all and share this time with you. We are amazing women.
Porshe Im glad you told your full story as I didn't know until now ! Im sorry you had a blighted ovum too it sucks hey when you sit waiting for a D&C knowing they are going to rip everything out of you and all you get afterwards is pain and sorrow,
I know I am older than you are but after my D&C it took absolutely ages for AF to return to any kind of normal around 75days after D&C it was so frustrating but now at last I seem to be back on track but it has taken 8mnths and Ive also tried VItex and now chinese meds to ( warm my womb up ) sounds dreadful but I am too old to go on clomid and will try anything within reason, seems to be working for me though as I now get a good bleed and around 29day cycle so thats good as I did go through a time of 33 days then the next one would be 18days so frustrating ! Anyhow thanks for sharing your story and I am very pleased you could join in and hopefully get some comfort on your journey into another BFP !
Thanks Sunbeam and Ferrals XX I know I'd be worried If I felt nothing too, and the cramps are very dull and light for most part of my day today, which is fine by me. It's just silly, I can only imagine this NOT working, I can imagine the dreaded phonecall and all, but I cant imagine it working out for the good. I know it's weird, as much as I feel hope deep down, I guess my brain is trying to protect my outside shell to the outside world!
Anyways, just wanted to let you darling girls know, that I got my long awaited letter in the mail...........We have 12 more Blasties on ice! EEEKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!! So that's 13 in total!!!!
13 is not the luckiest of numbers, I miscarried on the 13th, but because we had 12 blasties from this cycle on ice, and Harvey no2 from last one, the no13 doesn't count!
DH is out celebrating my good mood with a few boys and more than a few beers, I'm headed off to start reading NewMoon.......Oh I'd love to get my hands on this Edward Vamp, Mmmm!!!!!
Hey, speaking of being totally in love with a book character, I have a TMI warning comming up girls, so read ahead if your game!
Well, a few of you ladies already know, I commented the other day about the 'Lacking of nookies' I have had in the past month, well, am still totally to scared to, esp with all this cramping, I'm scared I will bring the cramping on again, well, getting to the point....I have found that I am getting aroused so easily, like watching people get it on, on the TV, (reading Twilight), just thinking about getting some love'n, makes me totally crazed up, and it sort of makes me cramp afterwards, and really...ummm....wet down there. I have never experienced this before, it's like I'm damn horny all the time! But I try not to be, cuz the more I feel turned on, the more I twinge 'down there'.
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