Dear N2L, like Rhi, I also didn't feel right about posting given we did eventually get there. However, in the leadup to our last cycle, we all (including our FS) were assuming things weren't going to work and we had agreed that enough was enough. During that time, I fell into a big black pit and I couldn't see my way out, to the point that I was seeing a psychologist because, as you say, it is a huge, huge thing to come to terms with and I could not fathom how our life as we had always expected was not going to eventuate.
I find it really upsetting that many people seem to assume that being able to have a family is something to be taken for granted, not realising just how blessed they are. They have NO clue of the toll AC takes and how emotionally damaging it can be. I agree with Lily when she says about the burden of having conceived and I often find myself randomly in tears because I am in a place that eighteen months ago I never thought I was going to be lucky enough to be.
IVF is such a cruel thing in that you go through all of the emotional and physical trauma with no guarantees at the end of the day. And as you say, what happens after that? I love your signature. I so wish you could be blessed with your miracle. The unfailing support you constantly provide to so many people here on BB when your own world is so difficult just proves how unfair life is. I hope that 2013 brings you joy as you are so deserving of it.
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N2L. Is surrogacy an option? 
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