Oh starbright hunny I can only imagine how devastated you must feel. I am so so sorry that AF showed up and I wish I could do something to make it all better for you. How is your DH coping?

SamT - thanks for your thoughts. I can imagine how you must be feeling a bit reticent about telling your DH's boss about your IVF plans. Do you need to go into detail, or could you just say that you need medical procedures that are not available where you're currently living? I hope the transfer goes smoothly for you .. that would be one less stress at least.

Shez - I'm so glad to hear that Bob Watson comes highly recommended. I know it sounds weird, but I've never had a male doctor before, and especially not for anything as personal as fertility, so it's important to me that it's someone I can feel comfortable with. I hope we do cross in the waiting room ... only I hope you've got a big beautiful bump when we do!

Jane - one of your sentences 'try not to focus too much on what might be' was just a lightbulb for me ... that is exactly what I have been doing, and it's been tying me in knots. It's easier said than done not to do it, but thanks for making me aware of it .... awareness is the first step.

MeredithD - thank you so much for your post too. How did your lap & hysteroscopy go today? Did they find anything, or is it still 'unexplained'? I really felt for you, reading your story about your m/c and D&C's - how incredibly stressful for you Keeping my fingers and toes crossed that you can start TTC again soon. I really hope you continue to post in here, and one day you're going to announce a BFP.

Rose - welcome to BB. I"m sending you lots of inkstick: for your embies, and praying for a BFP on the 17th for you.

Janee - hunny, you haven't done anything to deserve this struggle to be a mum. Nothing! Thanks for sharing your fortune cookie messages - they are so uplifting!

I'm feeling a little better today. I woke up with a migraine this morning .. which always happens when I've been crying the previous day. So I took the day off work sick, and booked in for a much-needed massage this arvo. I'm feeling nearly human now.