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Thread: TTC & Taking Clomid &/or Metformin ~ October 2006 #2

  1. #127

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    I think I can write off this clomid cycle right now. All the crap at work finally got to me today, and I completely lost it this afternoon. I've come home early, and I'll probably take the rest of the week off on stress leave. I can't see my body actually ovulating with all of this going on, sadly.

    After this, we'll take a break from clomid for a while... at least until after my DH has had his varicocele repair, and then we'll start over. Feeling kind of numb at the moment... but I just don't think I've got the energy to fight to keep my job and fight the infertility at the same time.

    BW


  2. #128

    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    I have been away for a few days and have just come to check how everyone is doing and I am so sad that it has been a tough few days for everyone.

    Dab- I am so sorry about you loss but I truly admire your courage, I am thinking of you.

    Willow- I am so sorry that you have to have another Op. Keep your chin up honey.

    Hayseed- I hope that the witch stays away.

    BW- Hang in there. I am keeping everything crossed that O is on its way for you.

    And to everyone else Hope you are all well.

    My follie has been nice to me and has decided to stay with me until I got home from SA. I had a blood test today and my Ob/Gyn said that ovulation is close so either today or tomorrow. So I have some serious baby dancing to do. Keep your fingers crossed for me girls that this one works.

  3. #129

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    Oct 2005
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    Thankyou Debbie for your lovely post. How lucky I am to have such beautiful woman energy to share this grief with. I am doing okay. Just hard to believe another baby has flown away. I am awaiting a call from my old friend Frank (foetal med specialist) he called earlier today and I missed the call. I am beginning to think that I should have perservered with the clexane. It would seem this is the likely solution. I just don't wanna be where I am. I want to be 14 weeks and 1 day pregnant and happy. I am not and I accept it but I don't want to be here again. I just don't.

    I know that I will hold a baby in my arms - I just need to stay strong, keep healthy and be sad when I need to be. I am going to a hypnotherapist on Thursday - I just want some help with dealing with the grief I have felt in order to feel okay with the future. She comes with great raves from lots of colleagues so I am kinda looking forward to it (omg what have I become!).

    So, it looks like I kinda do belong in here after all! I just can't go back into PAML - it is painful at the moment to read the daily news and excitement of others pregnancies. I know that sounds very selfish and self serving and I do apologise but it is how I feel right now.

    George has recommended if we want to conceive agian soon to begin if we are ready after my next period. We will do that and I will take the clomid from the start as I haven't got the time to muck around.

    My husband suggested he get me a ring with three colours of gold to represent our 3 babies. I think it's a lovely idea, they will always be in my heart. Always. My chest hurts - it feels so heavy like someone is sitting on it. It is so true that a piece of you dies when your baby does. There is a piece of me I just can't get back.

    I am really sorry for not doing personals. I will soon...

  4. #130

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    Nov 2005
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    Deb: I have read about your horrible loss, and to be honest I wasnt going to post.

    I have no idea how youre feeling and I am so saddened by this news.

    I felt I HAD to post as you had been so helpful on my ttc journey and so optimistic and really helped me embrace my pregnancy.

    I truly know you WILL hold another baby in your arms and I think the ring idea from your DH is perfect.

    I will pray for you and your family but I also know that you are strong enough to get through this sad time :hugs:

  5. #131

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    Sep 2006
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    Hi Flowerchild,
    I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you and sending you and your family great big .
    The idea of the ring is absolutely beautiful.
    Stay strong and look after yourself sweets.

    Butterfly Warrior,
    It sure sounds like you are having a really tough time at work. Take some time out for yourself, go get a massage or do something nice for yourself if you can. I have everything crossed that the clomid works for you and you do "O" soon.

    Ktgirl,
    I'm so pleased that follie stuck around for you. I have everything crossed for you too.

    Hi to everyone else.

    As for me, I'm just plodding along on the bding fest since af "left the building".Lets pray for some bfp's in here.

  6. #132

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    Jan 2006
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    BW - I have no words to make this time any better for you but you will make it. You are stronger than you realise

    Deb - my email is available in my profile. Send me a message and I will give you my contact details. I am home alone this week and more than happy to chat. I understand the need to not visit PAML at the moment. I am in that limbo space of not fitting in anywhere. Too scared to get comfortable in PAML, too pregnant to be in my other haunts. Plus I don't want to terrify others with my fears. That is not fair to them.

    Ultrasound is booked for Thursday 0930hrs with a sonographer I know so for a positive result. Although the waves of nausea are reassuring today.

  7. #133

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    Deb, thank you for coming in and letting us know that you are doing OK. I think your husband's idea for the ring is beautiful. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and pray that you are stronger every day.

    Michelle, I can only imagine how anxious you must be. I truly hope your u/sound shows things are just as they should be.

    BW - I am sorry that you are having such a rough time at work, i know you were anxious about going back today. It doesn't sound like it's going to improve any time soon - is there any chance of getting a new job? I'm sure it's not as easy for you as it is for me, there's a law firm on every corner, esp in the city so I've never had a problem changing jobs. On the plus side, although I know stress can impact on ovulation, I still don't think it's going to have a big enough impact to cancel out the effect of the clomid - I am positive you will still ovulate despite what is going on and how stressed you are. Don't give up yet, keep doing your OPKs.

    Kate- so pleased your follie behaved! Well done. Hopefully it's a positive sign of things to come and this will be your month, we desperately need some good news in here.

    Mako - I was just looking at your sig - do you mind me asking why you had two laps so close together?? I thought 6 months was a short space in between but yours were a lot closer than that.

    Hayseed - I hope the dreaded AF stays at bay. Keep us posted. I know how devastating it is each month when you see that spotting start.

    Me - nothing happening. Took my last pills last night but have no hope that they will give us the elusive BFP we are looking for. Called St George hosp today, they haven't received my admission form yet which i'm a bit stressed about but my FS has called them so they have me pencilled in for 21 November. I can't wait till I have a definate date. I don't want this hanging over my head over xmas. It makes me very sad to realise that there's almost no hope for me being prg again this year....

  8. #134

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    Jan 2006
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    Oh Willow I wish I could make this better for you. Remember we are here if and when you need us.

  9. #135

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    I think I'm starting to feel a little better about things... I've booked a follow up appointment with my regular GP for Thursday in case the one I'm seeing on Tuesday doesn't go so well. I'm starting to stop freaking out over everything and generally feeling much, much calmer about things. Still a bit of a way to go before I'm back to my normal self, though.

    I've become very aware of two little spots just to each side of my bladder... not exactly painful, but I can certainly feel something there, so I'm starting to think that maybe this clomid thing won't be such a dead loss after all... but my OPK of this afternoon was pretty much blank... I'll just keep testing and see what happens, and I don't think DH will complain about BDing.

    I just can't believe how many of us are in complete and utter lows at the moment... I wish I could send a happy fairy to each and every one of us, take away all the hurt, all the stress, all the fear, all the pain so we can just be happy, relaxed and carefree. *sigh*

    BW

  10. #136

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    Nov 2005
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    De - I'm here if and when you need me. Stay strong and the love of your family and friends will help see you through. It's a path I really wish you weren't going down again but I will hold your hand along the way.

    Hugs, and one for your DH for the lovely idea and just for being.
    Debbie

  11. #137

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    I'm out. AF arrived in full force this morning. Sigh.....Start round 3 of clomid in 4 more days.

  12. #138

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    Hayseed. Sorry to hear it. Damn that witch!

    I'm officially off work for the rest of the week. I couldn't see my regular GP today, but I think I managed to worry the one I did see... she's insisted I keep the appointment I have on Thursday with my regular GP to discuss adjusting my anti-anxiety meds, and started asking whether I was feeling suicidal... Now, I'm stressed out to the point of making myself throw up, and if I talk about it I become a blubbering mess, but I'm not that depressed. Anxiety only, not depression. Feeling stronger abdominal cramps now, so hopefully the clomid can overcome the stress and still make me ovulate.

    BW

  13. #139

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    Sep 2006
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    Hi Willow,
    I had the first lap done in August for investigation purposes. Gyn also did d &c ,dye studies on tubes and hyseroscopy.This is when I found out that I have endo. Tubes were clear and endo removed at this time. Then about 4.5 weeks later I had af with severe cramping on my right side. I thought I was having side effects from lap. I went to gp and had u/s done and it showed that I had a 6.5cm cyst on right ovary. Gyn said she would drain it via lap proceedure the next day after I saw her as it could be dangerous if it burst. It turned out to be an ovulation cyst possibly caused from clomid (hyperstimulation). So that was the reason I had 2 laps done so close together. I am almost finished this cycle of clomid so hopefully I will "O" soon.

    Hi Hayseed, Sorry that af arrived.

    BW, Keep your chin up and know that I'm thinking of you.

    Hi to everyone else, I hope you are all ok.

  14. #140

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    BW, I have every faith that you will ovulate this month, hang in there. Glad you have the rest of the week off, rest up and take advantage of the extra BDing opportunities!! You find that happy fairy yet???

    Hayseed, I am really sorry AF has shown up hun. I really mean that because I know just how crappy it is when it happens month after month, so frustrating and so soul destroying. I've just finished my 3rd round so we really are just like twins! LOL.

    Michelle, you do make it better, all of you do just by being here to listen to me when I need to get it all out because at the end of the day, no one understands this like you guys do.

    I have my brother's wedding this weekend and family arriving in the next few days so will probably not be around as much. What is it about family events that makes me miss my angel that much more?? I don't know....last time (niece's christening) I had a major meltdown, let's hope I cope a bit better this time.

    I will make sure I pop in while I'm at work on thursday to check on Michelle and hear her wonderful scan results.

    I have a major sore throat so am going to have a herbal tea and take myself off to bed...night ladies.

    Deb, am thinking of you....

    **ETA: Mako, sorry I missed your post - that makes sense now, I couldn't work out why you'd have two so close together. Damn ovarian cysts, I HATE them!!! Glad to hear yours was nothing serious. I spent 6 months not knowing what mine was as I didn't have a history/symptoms of endo (first cyst was 8cm on left ovary) and was referred to an oncologist - very scary stuff for a young prg (at the time) mum.
    Last edited by Willow; October 24th, 2006 at 09:33 PM.

  15. #141

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    Willow, I think sore throats must be going around... I've woken up with one!

    Something happened yesterday when I was seeing the GP, that I didn't think too much of at first, but now I've decided that the woman was a complete twit! I can sort of get a giggle out of it now, so I thought I'd share. I kind of feel sorry for her, as I was pretty much a blubbering, incoherent mess for most of the appointment. She checked my records, saw that I'm on metformin and asked me if I had diabetes. I told her no, it's for PCOS, and that I was also on my first cycle of clomid... She then went through and asked me when my last period was, and I told her two weeks. She asked how long the one before was, and I told her 80 days, but I'd taken provera to induce a period so I could start the clomid. Then, she goes on to ask me if I could be pregnant! You'd think a doctor would realise that only two weeks into a cycle, that's a pretty silly question! But, it got better... she then asked me what I was using for contraception! :eek: I'm left utterly dumbfounded as to what sort of doctor can ask a woman on fertility drugs what she's using to prevent pregnancy!!

    Sadly, it's starting to look like ovulation really isn't going to happen.
    Is there anyone who has spectacularly failed to ovulate on 50mg, but was successful at higher doses?

    BW

  16. #142

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    Hi guys,

    time for a new thread! Keep chatting here

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