persephone, I want to add that I can relate to so much of what you wrote!! Our sex life since LTTTC, IVF cycles, miscarriages, and another medical problems I have dealt with/am dealing with, has really suffered. The urge the desire is way down, not to mention we are both often stressed and tired. Like you said too, when we are on holidays together, our sex life and the desire seems to magically return, so stress obviously is playing a big role normally. We talk about it and sometimes get down about it too...then we make more of an effort for a while. It's true, if you try and make and effort sometimes you surprise yourself and actually do feel like it. Try not too feel too bad about it.
Thanks Ladies, your support is much appreciated - especially those who have been LTTTC. DH and I have had a few chats about it, and unfortunately he often jokes about it - I've had to point out that his joking is actually a bit hurtful and I'd rather we be kind to each other around the sex stuff.
I saw an episode of the Simpsons last night and something Marge said was completely hilarious (had me in stitches!) but was also rather apt. Homer had decorated the bedroom with candles and pretty drapes, and when Marge came in she said "Oh, Homey, you remembered that I like romance!" I told DH he could try the same thing now and again (although I note that Homer had stapled his fat to his back, so perhaps not).
I understand about the joking...it can be a good way to ease tension and try and make light of things, but I am pretty sensitive, and sometimes it can hurt, or sometimes I have joked and hurt DHs feelings too..you need to tread carefully ... I think when we do have moments of passion its a relief to both of us to know it's still there, just hidden a lot of the time at the moment
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