Thanks BG- that's good advice. I am so glad you responsed.

Yes, she knows my issues. She has actually been one of my biggest supports...we first met through yoga and she teaches pregnancy yoga and when I mentioned I hoped I'd be able to join her classes one day, we got talking, and she said she'd had a hard journey trying to fall pregnant and offered to meet me for coffee to talk and our friendship has gone on from there. She did one IVF cycle on her journey too (ended up with a natural pregnancy). So I know she must know how I feel, having been in my shoes herself.
We have another mutual friend, who has been TTC for 3.5 years and just did her first IVF cycle (overstimulated, so no transfer yet).... so we've all sort of been talking about this stuff a lot and they are both a great help as we can be so honest.

I guess I feel like I owe it to her to be strong and be there for her, and to share her joy. I feel like she would be strong enough to do that for me. But I guess, ever since I 've known her, she's had her little boy, and hasn't been in that awful place she was in, and which I am now in.
I also fear how I will cope if our other friend also falls pregnant, when at the same time, I so hope she does, after trying for so long.