all your words really do help! even just knowing i am not a terrible person for feeling jealous. Mollygirl, feeling a bit numb is just a way of protecting your heart i think, you shut off from it a bit, because you just have to.

you ladies really have helped me so many times

I saw my friend (and the other friend who has been LTTTC/IVF etc) again yesterday and I just sort of tried to cruise through it, but when she spoke of her excitment etc with seeing the two lines on the test and felt the twist of pain. It wasnt so long ago i felt what she is feeling, yet once again it was robbed from me. So woe is me i guess I cried on an off much of the day yesterday....i think I am perhaps suffering bad PMT too! Her little boy was with us yesterday too, and he is so gorgeous, and I just felt that intense longing, that whole "i want one!!" feeling.

I will take your advice, and be there when I can, and pull away when it's too much and not beat myself up about it!
Thanks again.