Working Mummies Support Group #3

[nyigi]

Ok the forum is so very quiet but I could really use some advice.
I've just started to look into childcare options for the kids and am terribly confused.
Does anyone have any tips or suggestions on where to look for advice?

DS1 is school aged but may need some out side of school hours care depending on how DH's work turns out.
DS2 will be 1.5 when we arrive in Australia.
I'll be working at a university so they have childcare centers there and seem to have some arrangements to take childcare costs out of your salary before tax etc but warn that that might influence government payments. The childcare looks really expensive at $115 a day. Is this normal? Do you get much back from the government? And do you have to wait until the end of the financial year or do you get it throughout the year? Is there an easy way to work out how much you'll get back? (At the moment it looks like my salary will almost all be spent on rent and childcare).
At the moment DS2 is in family day care with the big advantages that there is one dedicated carer that we know well, it's cheaper, we only pay for the hours he is actually there, and there is a lot of flexibility in terms of changing times or stopping for a few weeks if I take him with me on a business trip or something. Does anyone know if family day care in Australia is also so flexible? Or are the childcare centers there less rigid than the ones here? We once had to pay full rates for 3 months for DS1 even though he was away with us in Ghana so that we could keep his place, and would rather not have to do that again.
Hmm I've got so many questions but think I better stop there. If anyone has any answers for these or other general suggestions that would be fantastic! Thanks

[wysiwyg]

Ok the forum is so very quiet but I could really use some advice.
I've just started to look into childcare options for the kids and am terribly confused.
Does anyone have any tips or suggestions on where to look for advice?

DS1 is school aged but may need some out side of school hours care depending on how DH's work turns out.
DS2 will be 1.5 when we arrive in Australia.
I'll be working at a university so they have childcare centers there and seem to have some arrangements to take childcare costs out of your salary before tax etc but warn that that might influence government payments. The childcare looks really expensive at $115 a day. Is this normal? Do you get much back from the government? And do you have to wait until the end of the financial year or do you get it throughout the year? Is there an easy way to work out how much you'll get back? (At the moment it looks like my salary will almost all be spent on rent and childcare).
At the moment DS2 is in family day care with the big advantages that there is one dedicated carer that we know well, it's cheaper, we only pay for the hours he is actually there, and there is a lot of flexibility in terms of changing times or stopping for a few weeks if I take him with me on a business trip or something. Does anyone know if family day care in Australia is also so flexible? Or are the childcare centers there less rigid than the ones here? We once had to pay full rates for 3 months for DS1 even though he was away with us in Ghana so that we could keep his place, and would rather not have to do that again.
Hmm I've got so many questions but think I better stop there. If anyone has any answers for these or other general suggestions that would be fantastic! Thanks

Many/most schools offer Out of Hours School Care programs, which might be run by the school or a provider such as OHSC or Camp Australia, DD school has Camp Australia and she loves it - in my mind they do all the things that kids should do after school (hang out with friends, kick a ball, craft stuff, drawing) and get to do with a range of different aged kids.

I have heard really good things about childcare options at Universities (Deakin and Swinburne are the ones I have heard about) - 115 is towards the lower end for round here Camberwell/Hawthorn area. The rebate is great but if you need lots of days (4-5) you hit the cap pretty quick. It is probably changing though and some big reforms have been spoken about for 2016 which I know would have really helped us but we won't need it by then.

Childcare centers are pretty rigid in that you pay for set number of hours a day irrelevant of how many you use (the daily rate is normally for 11 or 12 hours)

You might find a family day care provider who will be as flexible as you want, but many are not that different to child-care centers apart from you can have a different standard length day. E.g. Standard length of 9:00 - 15:00 for example.

Our center is only 85% of the rates for holidays and is only 20 days a year (there is also a cap on how many days you can not attend and get the rebate for which is maybe more like 45??). A university center might well be a bit different, as its customers may have different requirements.

[Joeve]

Some answers
50% rebate up to $7500 per child
You can elect to have this paid upfront to provider and just pay the balance or you can have it paid to you quarterly or yearly
We get 4 weeks per year at half rates from our centre when we take DD out of care
Prices range typically from $85-$120 per day from what I've seen
Some flexibility depending on the centre
Hope someone more knowledgable than me pops in
Good luck!

[nyigi]

Wow thanks for the speedy reply Joeve!
50% rebate would be fantastic! At that rate I'd have a better chance of actually being able to cover our living costs (which would be good ).
Thanks for the good luck wishes. It's all rather daunting.

[Joeve]

As an add on there are changes coming in July where the eligibility for the 50% will be means tested
I'm not sure anyone is that clear what exactly will happen!

[wysiwyg]

Commute times certainly play a part, now I work close to home I an only using 8 out of the 11 which is maximum at our CC, but up until this job I was using 10-11 depending on traffic.

On the rebate, you will still get it for the days you attend but if say you take 60 days away and the rebate has a maximum of 45 away then you would end up full fee/holiday fee for the extra 15 (wasn't sure if that was clear).

For childcare I would get your name down as soon as possible (unless you get guaranteed a place through work) as demand is pretty high in most areas, with lots of centre's having wait lists (same with family day care).

[nyigi]

Thanks. I'll definitely get my name down soon. I still want to wait for the paper work to be signed and sealed though. It got delayed due to the holidays. It just doesn't feel right to do anything till it's all official. It's even starting to feel a bit weird talking about it with the few people I've told so far (beyond this anonymous public forum of course ).

[wysiwyg]

I would be the same waiting for the paperwork, worried I would jinx it somehow. (Happened to me once, got a job in Barcelona then the person who was leaving because didn't want to move to BCN from Geneva, changed their mind and moved - so that was that - probably wouldn't be in Oz now if that hadn't happened, so is all good but has made me wary until have signed on dotted line :-))

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Hello ladies. I'm joining in as I have to return to work after Easter and I don't want to! I love my baby Stormageddon too much to leave him. He will be ok but I won't. I don't want to leave my gorgeous boy to look after other people's children.

As you're talking about daycare, how does one go about choosing one? Still haven't done that as am in denial.

[nyigi]

Ah yes denial and choosing daycare. That sounds familiar
I was convinced I'd be able to finish off my thesis with DS2 around. After a while I realised it just wasn't going to work. I'd seen a lady at my son's school who worked as a family day carer and she seemed nice and carted the kids around in a box on the front of her bicycle covered in flowers with 'happy days' painted on the side. So I asked her if she could watch DS2 for a few hours here and there and we just went from there. She seemed capable, down-to-earth, and fun and I didn't put any more thought into it because I believed it would really only be a few hours here and there. It's now turned into a more regular and much longer term arrangement than I'd planned but it's working out ok.
Now I've got to choose a daycare for him on the other side of the world and have no idea how I'm going to do it.
My general take on choosing a daycare (mostly for DS1) has been to find a few with space and then go for visits. They were always either lovely or definitely no good for us (one place was a pristine room with delicate glass things around and the children boxed into one corner where all the toys got packed away each hour).

Good luck!

[peanutter]

As you're talking about daycare, how does one go about choosing one? Still haven't done that as am in denial.

I made a checklist of things that were important to me, and then I did tours of the daycare facilities in our area (with copies of my checklist) and made notes. I also made notes when there about what THEY focussed on (because that gives me an idea about what they prioritise) and I also made notes about how they actually interacted with the kids. There was an obvious difference to me between the ones who knew the kids' names and responded to them, compared to the ones which seemed to actually dislike but "tolerate" the kids ... and the one place where there was almost no natural light, and the kids all seemed a bit dozy ... that was not the place for my kids (or potentially any kids...).

Our checklist had stuff about outdoor play, inquiry learning, feedback/communication book levels, and a bunch of other stuff.

If I was doing it again, I would also ask questions about when they do and don't send kids home ... some places will send them home if there's any fever (meaning potentially you use up all your sick leave on days when bubba is teething) or whether they're allowed come with green snot coughing up a lung and infect everyone else ... we're happier with a balance.

Good luck - I hope you find somewhere you're really happy with.

We did a really similar process when looking at schools.

[Mildez]

Not enjoying work.

How does one overcome disliking their job? See I should love my job. It has some flexibility. The environment is lovely and comfortable. Its a job where once someone is in they don't leave. I have a fantastic client load and do love seeing most of my clients. I am quite popular to see over the others that also do my job. This was made evident when half the clients left when I was on maternity leave and returned once word got around I had returned. I am working 2days a week so its not full on.

I just can't work out why I do not like to be here. I have no conflict with other staff members. Its like a depression where I have no enjoyment what so ever in my work but I ?don't think I am depressed. I don't think getting another job would be the answer. I would be risking giving away a job that is perfect for me and my family. But if its so perfect why do I hate it? Help I am going out of my mind. Is it because of my workload at home and expecting another baby. I feel there is something wrong with me.

How do others manage as I feel like I am not.

[leckert]

Mildez, I've had that from time to time, particularly towards the end of last year. Worth talking to your GP about. It turns out for me I ended up being diagnosed with exhaustion, needing vit B12 shots & vit D supplements. I've taken some "me" time this school holidays and I'm feeling much better for it to.

[nyigi]

Hi Mildez
I'm feeling very similar at the moment, though it feels like a bit of a broader depression for me too.
As with leckert (and as you hinted yourself) I think the problem for me at the moment is exhaustion.
I've done lots of thinking of alternative careers or even not working at all and being at home with the kids full time and really I think my current career is a good fit for me. I'm just burnt out, exhausted, and totally over it. I should probably take a break as leckert suggested but I'm currently behind many deadlines at the moment so I don't really feel like I can. I'm trying to compartmentalise more and make sure I get at least short breaks.
It sounds like you've got plenty of reason to be exhausted yourself. Is it possible for you to take a break soon?

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I'm going back on 2 days (hopefully) to a job I fought tooth and nail to do. And I normally love the job itself. I love the people I spend 90% of my time with.

But I'm not looking forward to the niggly extras, the people who make meetings last twice as long as they need to, the judgement, the never being allowed to have an off minute... I don't want to leave my baby to be nagged at and treated worse than we'd treat a child in our care. Just for ten minutes a month, from a superior, but that's what breaks me. At least said superior has left now, not a nice way of thinking of it, but there it is.

As well as fatigue, having to cram in housework and parenting on your work days, wanting to be with your children... could there be one person with a pull down mentality that you see sometimes?

[Mildez]

I think your right and its just me been burnt out and the exhaustion. I guess I will have to consider going on annual leave for a while or going on maternity leave early. I don't even know how early you can take it. It is possible for me to reduce my hours to 6hrs a day instead of the 8 but then I still have the same cost of childcare and the extra 4hours a week is worth a few hundred dollars a pay (fortnightly) so it is quiet a bit to loose.

I have also come to the relization that I will have to return to work when this baby is 6weeks old. I have not broke the news to DH yet. Everything seems so hard at the moment.

Ca Plane the lady I work with closely is lovely but is quiet demanding of my time. I think she isn't helping. The good news is we have another member joining out team soon so I won't be the only sound board for the other woman. Don't get me wrong she is lovely but quiet a dominant personality and likes to dictate what I do despite my workload been twice as busy as her own. This new team member however has no experience and this will be her first job in our field. She is also disadvantaged as she is not a midwife (only RN). She will need alot of orientation and I guess by the time she is ready to work on her own I will be leaving. In saying this I am really looking forward to meeting her. My other team member is considerably older then I am and her lifestyle is very different. The new person starting is younger with a young family and I am just hoping we get along well. Atleast thats something to look forward too.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Sorry for the me post, but...

I don't want to go back to work! I don't want to work 4 days. I don't want to work on my son's first birthday. I have a child care dilemma, as in the one local centre that doesn't horrify me has no space, friend cannot do 4 days and PiL flat out won't do 2 hours a week for 6 weeks.

I was ok with 2 days. Not 4 going down to 3 in June. Feeling overwhelmed, angry and upset.

[peanutter]

I'm sorry you're in that position.

Are there any sensible options for getting a private nanny? Or can your DH drop his hours until you go down to 3 days?

Re the birthday etc, what flexibility do you have about annual leave, definitions of carer's leave, etc?