Hi Nae
I am feeling just like you at the moment, we lost our son on the 22/4 at 23+5weeks, and got our results back the other day. Like you my Ob said I had acute chorioamnionitis and that was the likely cause of my labour, but the report also says Incompetent Cervix, which he doesn't seem keen on believing either. His options for the next pregnancy were, he could put a stitch in at 12ish weeks OR he would get me to have fortnightly scans to check the length of my cervix. He would prefer me to have the scans and swabs for infection as well. I think I am happy with the latter as well, but am going to have a chat with my GP, she is great. It is good to have some answers, but when they aren't definitive it is really hard isn't it? I hope you are doing OK, feel free to PM me if you want.
Helen
Dear NaeNae,
I totally understand how you are feeling. It is a very confusing time. In August 2006 we lost out lil boy at 20 wks 4 days.
I went into early labour and the doctors were unable to stop the contractions.
I received the results back and they could not find a cause for the early labour. Bub was growing fine and no infection and perfect placenta. They said the next time I got pregnant that everything would be fine as this loss was just "very bad luck" as they put it.
So with my next pregnancy I went on thinking that there was nothing wrong and that we would have no trouble. At 21 weeks I went to the hospital for a scan and they asked if I had earlier in the pregnancy had an ultrasound of my cervix, to which I answered no of course as no one told me there was any need of it. So the next week I had the scan and they told me that I had a short cervix and that I just needed to be careful and not lift anything heavy. So the next day I saw my midwife and she took me up to see the Ob that second as she was very concerned, then that afternoon at 22 + 3 days preg I was told to get a cervical suture placed. They told me that they are supposed to put them in at around 12 to 14 weeks and that in my case it may be too late and I might go into premature labour again. I decided that I would get it put in and the next day I had the McDonald stitch, which is the easiest to put in and take out. They gave me an epidural and put it in.
Thankfully everything went well and I just had a bit of pain and bleeding for a week or so. I had to quit work though and wasn't aloud to stand for longer than 30 mins and could not pick up heavy things or even do the vacuuming. In March our lil man was born at 38 weeks, 1 week after the stitch was removed and very healthy. Next time I will be getting the stitch put in at 14 weeks!
If there is anything else you might want to know, Im here.
Thinking of you
Danielle
NaeNae - Please dont blame yourself sweetheart.. After I had my first two m/c's and then feel pg with my DD3 I wanted further testing done as I just didnt want to wait for another loss, one of the tests they did was in case I had an Incompetant cervix, they did the u/s at 14weeks as I was advised that it had to be done at 14weeks not before not after. This was done by u/s. If you are concerned about your next pg hun, ask for them to do this u/s to check for an incompetant cervix. If it turns out that you do they will do something early before it is too late, if it turns out that you dont have an incompetant cervix you have one less thing to worry about. Thankfully I didnt have an incompetant cervix which was a huge relief. Lots of
Nae,
As you already know I do have IC and have lost babies thru a close monitoring situation..my IC wasnt diagnosed fully until I had a term baby with a stitch in. The monitoring pregnancy I had a scan done at 19 weeks on a Monday and by Wed I has in hospital with my membranes ruptured. It is a hard one to call and although I was put in a situation when I fell pregnant the 3rd time what to do...I'm glad I went the stitch
Good luck
Bec
Thanks so much everyone for sharing your stories and for all of your imput. When I went into the hospital they took swaps but no signs of infection came up so we can at least rule that out. Bub was healthy as was the placenta. My time in both hospitals (warragul and the royal womens) I had scans done of my cervix but a previous scan at 19 weeks didn't go there he was looking more at Niki.
Krisp -I know those steroid injections though I only had two and was due for my third of the day after Niki had been born. They aren't two bad I s'pose ... though I was having daily injections of a blood thinning thing and they stung.
Bjrose - I actually had some pretty good cramping a few days before I went into the hospital. LIke period cramps but at the time I had no idea what was normal or not so was planning on mentioning it at my next Ob appointment which was the following monday. I know now that they were contractions but I could have also dilated a bit .... I guess its a bit of the old what came first the chicken or the egg scenario!
Csab - do you know if you can request the scan? I wonder how they can tell so early whether or not you have an IC?
Thanks so much everyone,
part of me really wants to get a stitch put in next time as a "just in case" but if its not a cervix problem (which I really think it is) then I don't want to weaken something that may not be broken.
Gosh its horrible, I don't want to lose a third child and I am so scared this will happen.
Nae - The hospital actually requested the scan for me, as they wanted to rule an IC out. When you become pg again I would ask that that scan be done. As I said it needs to be done early on at 14weeks which was what I was advised by the hospital. They find out early if there is a problem as further on in the pgcy it could be too late. IYKWIM. Please tho make sure you request that scan to rule it out or for it to give you the reason the for needing a stitch. Also let them know your reasons for wanting it done to back yourself up if they ask "Why are you requesting it" tell them as well that you want to make sure that your doing everything you possibly can to carry a baby to term.
Danielle,
I have recently read your post dated 24th June and was interested in what you had to say as I lost my baby in June this year. I had been having a perfect pregnancy with no problems and all scans had been fine. On the 3rd June I had a painless labour (had no idea I was even in labour) and my little girl was born at 24 weeks 5 days. We named her Isabella and she was so beautiful, just so so tiny. She lived for 2 days and then could'nt hold on any longer. Her kidneys and lungs weren't working properly. My husband and I are devastated. This was our first baby and we just can't understand what went wrong. My ob said I had painless dilation of the cervix. Apparently my cervix shortened and by the time we knew this it was too late to stop the labour. I was reading your post which indicated that you had a scan to determine whether you had a short cervix. Is this correct? I'm doing lots of research to see what will happen next time. My ob has said we can monitor it, by having scans fortnightly to keep an eye on the length of the cervix or he has said we can put a stitch in at 14 weeks. It is all very confusing. Can you offer any suggestions?
Thanks
Anike
I know you posted for Danielle but I wanted to share with you what has been told to me.
It will not be what you want to hear but sometimes our bodies just do these things without any rhyme or reason. If you have read the same type of things that I read when I was trying to work out what happened if its a weak cervix with close monitoring they can detect changes and put a stitch in if necessary. If it was a labour problem then there is little if anything they can do.
For people like us, it will just be a matter of close monitoring (request weekly monitoring if that will make you feel better) and hoping for the best, a full term pregnancy.
We may be at different stages in our grief process, but for me letting go of "why did my body do this" has been the most empowering part. Even though it sucks arse big time, sometimes things just happen and its out of our control.
Hon I am sending you big loving and understanding hugs, I hope you can let go of the "why" soon.
Thanks for you replies (both times - don't think I got around to saying thanks after your first reply).
My ob said it was painless dilation of the cervix. He said I must have a short cervix and can either have a stitch at 14wks next time or monitor and then have a stitch if it's shortening. Not sure which way we'll go. I know there can be complications with the stitch but I also know that cervix could possibly shorten the day after I've had a scan and then I wouldn't be having another scan for another fortnight.
I know I need to get past the 'why' stage, it's just hard because you think none of this should of happened. Have you tried again for a baby?
Yeah I know hon. Its really just a matter of waiting til next time, my cervix had shortened too when I was admitted and we still do not know why I had contraction or why the membranes were buldging.
Its just something they have to watch very closely for next time.
Dh and I aren't trying at the moment only because I had a caesar and have been advised to wait 6-9 months. We are going to start trying in the New year seems like a good time - New Year = New Outcome (hopefully)
Besides, everything is still pretty raw, we're still trying to organise plaques and Niki has only been gone for 2 months we need to make sure our relationship gets back on track so that we can provide a loving and warm environment for our next child.
Part of me so wants a baby in my arms but its not the right thing to try to fill the void. There will always be that void and I need to become 100% comfortable with that before I even consider another child.
But that just me.
Take care of yourself and leave the self blame and the Why's behind you ... they do try to sneak back in but we have the power over our minds not the other way around.
To help me, when I have a "bad day" and i hate myself for having a dumb body for giving birth too early, I get out into the garden or do renovations just something to put me in a different headspace and something to get me going physically and after 30 min or so I find I am not thinking of anything except for the task at hand.
You will find your own outlet and your own way of controlling the brain tricks.
Much Love to you I do feel your pain and I can say that looking for the joy in each day really truely does help.
For me ... today I discovered the first flower in Nikita's garden had bloomed there is life and happiness even surrounding death and saddness.
Anytime you need a chat even just to let off some angst pm me I am more than happy to listen - from one mum to another x x x
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