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Thread: HIM vs HER?? Tubes to get done

  1. #1

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    Default HIM vs HER?? Tubes to get done

    Just wondering.

    Better for the woman to get her tubes done or for the man....or for both?

    Or what is the best option when baby making is now finished?
    Implants? Tubes?
    Pill? Luck??


  2. #2

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    Interestingly a friend of mine's sister and the friends DH had these ops at the same time. The dh recovered heaps quicker and had a much easier procedure than the woman.

  3. #3

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    Mens is becoming more popular, but in our family dynamics I will be having mine done but actually going for a full hysterectomy instead due to endometriosis

    Love

  4. #4

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    My DP is "supposed" to be getting done. He wanted me done but I refused. I go through the pregnancies and the births, he can have this done.

    My little bit of revenge

  5. #5

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    Does anyone know which one is more effective or which is more prone to 'oopsy daisys' ?
    Like percentage wise?
    Are they still just clamping tubes or are they now cutting?

  6. #6

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    Last I ever heard, men had to have 20 ejaculations after the procedure before they were "sterile" not sure if that is still the case.

    My Aunty fell pregnant about 5 years after my Uncle had his done

    Love

  7. #7

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    Well I think it's best for the woman to get "hers done". Only because once a woman reaches a certain age she knows her days of bringing a child into the world are behind her, whereas that's not the case for a man. We all hope our relationship is for life but sadly that doesn't always come true. I have a dear friend who is married to an older man and he had "his done" when he was in a previous marriage. After many many IVF attempts to have a child together they have sadly given up.

    For me, I will be definitely getting the op, I love my DH and if anything should happen to me then I'd like him to meet someone else and they might want children together.

  8. #8

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    krisp, that actually works both ways. My XH insisted I get my tubes tied because he didn't want any more kids, and when we broke up my current DH and I have had to undergo many cycles of IVF to fall pg, while XH still adamantly maintains he doesn't want any more, even with his new partner. In my mind he was the one who should have had the op, not me.

    It is a much simpler op for the man than for the woman, and the possibility of the op failing can happen in both instances, but is very unlikely. I don't think that because women have an end date to their fertile years that it automatically makes it a better idea for the woman to have the op. Just in terms of which is the easier op with the lesser risk of complications, a vasectomy is clearly wins.

    But if either of you have any doubts about whether you may like more kids, whether together or with other future partners (which may be distasteful to think about but unfortunately anything is possible) then I'd look at something not quite so permenant. There are a legion of women having their ligations reversed because they were not 100% sure they wanted the op when they had it. And it's not as simple as having the op reversed if you change your mind - not all reversals work (mine didn't). So I strongly advise you to be absolutely sure before you go ahead.

  9. #9

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    For me, I will be definitely getting the op, I love my DH and if anything should happen to me then I'd like him to meet someone else and they might want children together.
    This is the reason my boss's wife had her tubes tied, but like Sushee says you would want to be sure your kid days were over. Personally I would prefer DH get done because I am pretty sure it is a local anaesthetic for him but full surgery if I have it done.

    Plus like Trish says - if I have the babies he can have the snip

  10. #10

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    DH is having the snip when we are sure we have finished - I would like the bigger family, but a man is fine within a few hours, a woman needs days to recover. Plus if he's stopping me having more children with him then he isn't going to have any with anyone else!

    Women have years of chemicals, pregnancies, childbirth, breastfeeding... and a man won't even have a snip? BTW, I want to be there and I want to give my consent while DH isn't aware of it and has had a hand up his backside twisting around for a bit, making him have trouble with controlling poos for a few weeks (no control at all for at least 4 days, if not a week). Payback for Lieb's birth, I didn't want to be sliced up down there but he was fine for it to happen to me. Doubt it will happen, but would be nice!

  11. #11

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    IF...and at the moment it's a very big IF ....anyone in this house is done then it will be DH.

    I'm kind of with Trish - my body has been through enough for our family in the last three years. His turn to step up to the plate.

    Besides, he is adamant he doesn't want more kids, I am not. But he won't do it until I agree...which I won't :P

  12. #12

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    I had my tubes tied as I was having a c/s and it was my choice to do so. I almost had it done when I had my son in 05 but the week before the c.s I said to my DH I just can't do it and thankfully I didn't. We decided to have a 4th child about a year later and here we are with our 4th bub..

    Right now I do not regret being "fixed" I have moments where I feel sad that I have left the life of pregnancy and newborns behind but I would have felt like that regardless as we aren't having anymore and this way we don't have to worry about contraception...

    I had my tubes cut not clamped.. I don't know much about the statistics concerning failure rates but I would asume if they are cut then it is highly unlikely I would fall pregnant

  13. #13

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    I had my tubes tied in 03 and had a reversal just over a year ago. I would advise you both to think very hard about having a permanant procedure done, there are lots of other methods which have a high contraception %. I only wish I had thought a bit harder before making the decision I did...
    In the end it is your decision and what ever you both choose to do must be right for you.
    Take care

  14. #14

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    I had mine cut and tied but as onemore said i would have a good think about it.
    There are also alot of side effects from having them done. It so much more easier
    for the men to get done. There is a thread in here some where about the side effect

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