I have another angel.

Today I should be 5w 1d but my HCG yesterday was 73, down from 182 3 days ago, so it is safe to say that it is over. I knew it was going to happen, although I still have all the symptoms and have had no bleeding. The dr was really nice and said they will see how things go and do another BT in a couple of days, but I think he was just trying to be nice rather than tell me the cold hard facts over the phone. I have an appointment first thing tomorrow.

All we want is a happy family, that is all I have ever wanted, and I feel that it is never going to happen.

I just hate my body so much for holding on when there is nothing to hold on to. Why can't it just let it go and get things over with? The dr said they will wait a couple of weeks and possibly look at a D & C if nothing happens. I am trying to hit myself in the stomach, take things that make you miscarry, anything to get it over with naturally, the last thing I want is to end up in emergency again trying to decide which avenue to take to get rid of it.

I don't even know what to do now. Do we try again? I am going to ask for all the tests to be done to try and find out why this keeps happening. I have already had some of the tests done and everything was normal. My progesterone is great, all the things that could lead to a miscarriage are not there. I am young, healthy, of a normal weight and did all the right things through my pregnancies. Why does this keep happening to us? We are good people and would be great parents. It was hard enough to get through the first time, I don't know if I have the strength to get through this again.

Does anyone know if this called a chemical pregnancy or a miscarriage? Does it make any difference anyway?

Bun