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Thread: Again

  1. #1

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    Default Again

    I have another angel.

    Today I should be 5w 1d but my HCG yesterday was 73, down from 182 3 days ago, so it is safe to say that it is over. I knew it was going to happen, although I still have all the symptoms and have had no bleeding. The dr was really nice and said they will see how things go and do another BT in a couple of days, but I think he was just trying to be nice rather than tell me the cold hard facts over the phone. I have an appointment first thing tomorrow.



    All we want is a happy family, that is all I have ever wanted, and I feel that it is never going to happen.

    I just hate my body so much for holding on when there is nothing to hold on to. Why can't it just let it go and get things over with? The dr said they will wait a couple of weeks and possibly look at a D & C if nothing happens. I am trying to hit myself in the stomach, take things that make you miscarry, anything to get it over with naturally, the last thing I want is to end up in emergency again trying to decide which avenue to take to get rid of it.

    I don't even know what to do now. Do we try again? I am going to ask for all the tests to be done to try and find out why this keeps happening. I have already had some of the tests done and everything was normal. My progesterone is great, all the things that could lead to a miscarriage are not there. I am young, healthy, of a normal weight and did all the right things through my pregnancies. Why does this keep happening to us? We are good people and would be great parents. It was hard enough to get through the first time, I don't know if I have the strength to get through this again.

    Does anyone know if this called a chemical pregnancy or a miscarriage? Does it make any difference anyway?

    Bun

  2. #2

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    Bun I'm so sorry you're going through this again.

  3. #3

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    Oh Bun...i am so so sorry you are going through this again. No words can express how much i'm feeling for you and what you must be going through. I'm heartbroken to think you have to go throught this again...we're here for you hun if you need to talk...xxxxxx

  4. #4

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    Aww, Bun I am sor sorry to hear htis is happening to you again. I can only imagine how horrible youare feeling right now.

    Please feel free to come in here and vent when you need to... and try not to take it out on yourself, this isn't your fault.


    Tanya

  5. #5

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    Oh Bun - I'm so sorry this has happened to you again. I have just posted for you in the other thread and am absolutely devistated for you. I literally have tears running down my face. I know there's nothing that I can say that will make this better but just know I'm thinking of you.

    Please take care. Sending you all the big hugs I can muster!!

    Kelly xxxx

  6. #6
    lindie Guest

    Default

    Hi Bun,

    Thats not good at all, but dont punch yourself in the stomache thats not a really great Idea honey, Its just going to upset you and I know how you feel about your baby and wouldnt you like to know that you HAD done all the right things honey?

    This is not your fault, Its and awful thing to happen to you but please dont harm yourself honey.

    Lindie

  7. #7
    MUMMY4LIFE is offline .: ~ Don't regret anything that ever made you smile ~ :.

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    Sending you lots and lots of hugs. Please don't blame yourself.

    Take Care. X

  8. #8
    malimum Guest

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    So sorry to hear of ur loss Bun Take care and u r in my thoughts!

  9. #9

    Default

    Bun, I am very sorry to hear of your loss. Please don't blame yourself and please don't hurt yourself either.
    I would suggest going to counselling or something to talk about this openly. I know this won't fix the problem, or bring back your angels, but it's very important for you and your DH to get things off your chest. You need to be the right state of mind for you to try again.
    Again, please look after yourself and I pray that I see that BFP for you this year, and to one day see the birth announcement. Good luck.

  10. #10

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    Bun,
    I've posted for you in the other thread but wanted to say once more how sincerely sorry I am for you and your DH.
    Hope xoxo

  11. #11
    kirsty Guest

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    Bun I am so terribly sorry that you are once again welcoming an angel into your family, my thoughts are with you at this terrible time.

  12. #12

    Default

    Bun im so so sorry for your lose :hugs: I know my words wont make you feel any better but know that your angel is watching over you and we are all here for you whenever you need us..... :hugs:

  13. #13

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    Bun, I just don't know what to say other than I am sorry that you are having to go through this again. Hugs for you.

  14. #14

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    I'm sorry for your loss. Big hugs.

  15. #15

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    Oh sweety, I am so sorry that you are going through this again. Im still praying that those levels rise though. Thinking of you sweety and sending you big hugs at this difficult time.

    Lisa

  16. #16

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    Im so sorry hun that you are going through this again. Lots of Hugz to you and DH

  17. #17

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    Thanks guys for all your kind words.

    I just got back from the doctor's and I didn't think it was possible, but now I feel even worse. I went in and he said 'the answer to your question is yes'. He told me to get another BT to check on HCG levels, and I have a form for another one for a week's time if I am still not bleeding, and I may have to get a scan done to see if there are any 'products of conception' still there, and then maybe a D & C. I said I really didn't want to go there. I tried asking him why this is happening and what I should do now, what all my hormone levels were, etc, and he said he didn't know and could refer me to genetic counselling, but there would be a long wait, and that he wasn't going to answer my questions because 'this is a fit-in appointment and I don't want my schedule to be out all day'.

    I told him I am very sorry I took up his time and will go elsewhere next time and slammed the door on my way out. I couldn't even drive home I was crying so much and now I don't know what to do.

    I had the BT and have to phone for the results later today, but the last thing I want to do is speak to that ***** again. I can't believe someone can be so horrible in what is such an awful situation. Now I don't know what to do, what the answers are and where we go from here.

    I just can't stop crying and I can't get through to DH.

    How am I ever going to have a family?

  18. #18

    Join Date
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    oh Bun, that Dr is horrible! Why would he ever want to be a DR if he's going to treat people so horribly?

    I dont know what to say to you other than I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this (again)

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