Bun, I am very sorry to hear of your loss. Please don't blame yourself and please don't hurt yourself either.
I would suggest going to counselling or something to talk about this openly. I know this won't fix the problem, or bring back your angels, but it's very important for you and your DH to get things off your chest. You need to be the right state of mind for you to try again.
Again, please look after yourself and I pray that I see that BFP for you this year, and to one day see the birth announcement. Good luck.