Thanks ladies for all of your posts.

You know you're not the only one but in my real world (not BB) it is feeling like people just forget what has happened this year and I do feel like we are the only ones.

Niki would have been 7 months old on Christmas Day had she survived.

We are still doing our Christmas Lunch - I always cook a lamb roast and fortunately MIL understands the pain of a loss (as sad as that actually is) my own mother ran the guilt trip by me when I said we were going to keep it low key this year and just stay at home rather than joining them at my Uncles place - my own mother.

A good friend and work colleague and I had a big chat about it this morning, she unfortunately could not have her own babies and she understands how I am feeling about Christmas this year which is really nice .... she eventually did have children 2 adopted and said that in years to follow that there will be joy at Christmas again.

Its so hard though isn't it!