this is my first time on one of these sites, but I am just feeling so sad at the moment and I don't know who to turn to.
I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks and today was the EDD. I am home alone, my husband at a work Christmas Party. No-one has remembered that today was the day, just as no-one has asked me if I am okay or how I am coping since my return to Australia (about 2 months following the miscarriage). I so wanted to be pregnant again by today, but since I have had numerous infections following my miscarriage, we have only just started trying again.
I know that today was always going to be upsetting, but I don't know why I cant get over this - it has been 6 months already! My sister-in-law had a baby at the end of September and I will be meeting it for the first time at Christmas (my brother & his wife live in the Eastern States, so we do not see eachother very often) and I can hardly talk to her or anyone about my nephew without feeling like crying. I don't know how I will be able to cope with Christmas.
I know that other people have it worse than me and I know that there is now nothing to stop my husband and I trying again, but I still feel this over-whelming greif which I can't seem to cast aside.
Hi Cat, welcome to BB and I am so very sorry for your loss.
I haven't suffered such a loss myself, but I know there are some wonderful women on here who know your pain and grieve with you.
I am sorry no one has remembered the EDD of your angel, but I am glad you have popped in here - I really do hope you find the support you need.
I am not sure what to say about Christmas and your new nephew, other than I am sure your feelings really are so normal and of course they are valid and need to be felt. Don't be too hard on yourself - you are so entitled to grieve for your little one however you need to.
I think that's probably enough ramble from me. I am sure you will hear from someone who has been in a similar place to you before too long.
All the best, and stick around - this is a great place to be.
Hi and welcome to BB. So very sorry for the loss of your baby. Today is an especially sad day for you and I am sorry no one has remembered. Just take day by day because every day will be different but in time it will get easier. The pain of losing your angel will never go away but somehow we learn how to deal with that pain and it does get a little easier. Your precious angel will always be close to your heart.
Thinking of you today Cat....it is just so hard...and so lonely. I've never coped well with Christmas...seeing all my siblings with their young families...I have 'missed' two Christmases because I just couldn't do it and I've never regretted putting us first. Do what you need to do to get through each day and if that upset or offends anyone...so what? Nothing is going to be as bad as losing your baby...big hugs xxx
Cat for you. Even though you've come into this community under difficult, painful circumstances, I hope your journey here will bring support, comfort and hope.
Everything you say seems totally understandable. Have you done something to remember your little one? I always find it helps if I mark these occasions.
I am so sorry you have made it to these forums under these circumstances and so sorry for your loss.
The EDD's are always difficult as Gabi suggested maybe a way to help with your healing is to mark the occasion? perhaps burn a candle and say a silent pray. Cry if you need to and know that even when your heart is aching your little angel is watching over you and sending you love from above.
You will find lots of support in these forums and lots of people to comfort you not just through these difficult times but to share your many happy successes.
I'm so sorry for your loss and I hope you find much comfort and support here .
You must feel awful that no one remembered your baby's due date, but the most important thing is that you've remembered it. Some people forget, others chose not to say anything in case they upset you. That's just the the way it goes sometimes. My due date is 12 February 2009, so I wonder how many of my family and friends will remember my little boy's due date.
The type of loss that we've been through, it the hardest life experience that anyone can go through. And sometimes that empty feeling is so overwhelming, we think that it will never go away. With another baby, hopefully it will becomes less painful, although you'll never forget your angel baby. Grieve at your own pace and in your own way, and don't let others tell you what you should or shouldn't be feeling. This is your loss, and you do what feels right for you.
I wish you much sucess in achieving another pregnancy in the very near future.
A huge thank you to everyone for your lovely messages and support. It saddens me so much that this is such a common thing - I wouldn't wish it on anyone, however I think you can only know the pain if you have gone through it yourself and I am so glad there is this kind of support available.
Hi cat, so sorry for the loss of your little one...
I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks in Nov last year and it was the hardest thing I have ever had to go through, so sending you a big
As all the others have said, take all the time you need and take care of yourself..
Im so sorry that no one has remembered this sad but significant time in your life...
When my edd came around I was fortunate that I was pg and it made the time that little bit easier, that said only one person remembered and asked how I was.(and she had previously had a loss also) On that day I planted a special little shrub that has beautiful pink star shaped flowers and each year it flowers from about Jan to August ( bub was due in July ) so its in flower for when bubs birthday would have been.
I know its hard now but in time it will get easier and I hope you dont have to wait too much longer to get that much wanted
xxx
I get upset sometimes when my family forgets my DD EDD( 25 Nov 05) but then I realise they may not know what to say. Since our loss I have gone on to have another baby girl and am currently PG. I wish I could tell you that the paranoia has got better but for me it hasnt.When I reach 26 weeks I will feel better as the baby has a fighting chance.
I have planted a rose in my garden called angels face in her memory. It has the most beautiful shade of pink/ purple and the fragrance is heavenly.
Good luck with your future BFP. Im sure everything will be fine
Dear Girls,
My heart goes out to all of you.
I am convinced that no-one understands the link between an expected baby and mum. I lost my Tonya at full term, still born with anencephaly on 5 Nov 1973.
I came across this site today as I was searching for info as my daughter-in-law is going for 10 week tests for their 3rd child. Even when the tests are OK, I have been on tenterhooks until they are born for both my children and my grandchildren.
Every year I remember Tonya's birthday, she would have been 35 last Nov. I grieved for many, many years until I realised that that a lot of it was due to the fact in those days there was no recognition - no birth certificate, no death certificate, and yet because she was full term I had to have a burial!
Fortunately Qld has changed its laws and we now have a birth & death cerficate. I had overlooked the important fact that my husband had her name tattooed back in 1975 along with our 2nd child - another girl born in Dec 1974. He added our son's name in Nov 1976 when he was born.
Waiting for test results are harrowing, our son was well and truly kicking when we finally got the all clear for him. I was kinda scared to bond to him in case I had to lose him. That was extremely stressful.
Yes, many people are too scared to bring up the subject because they don't know how and they are scared of upsetting you. You need to talk about your baby to your families - there may be silence at first again because they don't know what to say, but persevere. I have and now it is accepted. My neice actually crossed stitched Tonya's name and a little angel bear on a family tree quilt for my mum (her grandmother).
Our little angels will always be special and remembered to us their mums.
Lotsa luvs to you all
I admire you all for hanging in there
Tonya's Mum
I had very early miscarriage.. about 7wks and I still think 'my baby would be 9 this May' I have also recently lost twins at 12 days old.. They were born at 24wks.. They would have been due March 11 this year.. I am dreading the day..
EDD today & desperately sad
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from me.
. Im sure everything will be fine
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