Ladies thank you so much for your replies. It does make me feel a bit less worried that you both have felt in a similar way. My poor DH is so bewildered by me at the moment and every so often I could swear he looks at me like I'm going mad. Sometimes I see such worry in his eyes that I start to think I should be really worried too.

Deep down I know that there is no right or wrong way to walk along this road, every one will do it differently and I guess that's why it's so hard for friends and family to understand where my head is at. I am just so fed up of everyone around me pretending like it never happened. I think I feel angry that everything and everyone around me can be so NORMAL so easily when it takes so much work for me right now. It just worries me that I too found NORMAL so easy to do up until last month.

Ferrals- I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious Abbi. I wish you strength and peace as you face her anniversary next month. I wanted to wish you all the best in your TTC journey. I suppose it's not much help to tell you to stay positive. I do hope however, that on the days where you don't feel so positive you remember that out of all the ladies here, someone will be thinking positive for you. You are certainly in my thoughts and prayers right now.

Spring- Thank you so much for your words of support and the much needed hug! Thinking of my grief as a flight plan brought a smile to my face as you really hit the nail on the head. It does feel a bit like soaring/falling sometimes. I'm so sorry you lost your precious son, thankyou for sharing some of your grief experience. I know that the price of such wisdom is so huge and painful, it means a lot that you took the time to reassure me.

much love,
K.x