Miscarriage/Loss General Discussion #1

[cammy1980]

Hi,
I'm new here and thought that it's touching and very courageous for all of you to talk about this. I, myself, have had a miscarriage. About the end of June 2005 I had a feeling I was pregnant. You know how you can just sense that??? Well I went for an appointment on July 3 and the doctor confimed that I was pregnent, I was 2 months at that time. I have to admit I was a bit shocked to find out that I had become pregnant. I was scared, I was 25, I had just started a job and couldn't afford a child but I was going to go through with this pregnancy. I was taught that things happen for a reason.
I didn't know how to tell my boyfriend, however, I decided that after we came back from our trip with his family I would tell him. While we were on the trip I was playing with his nephew and I started feeling cramps. I dismissed it as my imagination, or I was trying to ignore them.

I never got to tell him that I was pregnant. While I was in the shower one day I felt something was wrong. I looked down and there was blood. I guess I figured that there was no point in telling him what had happened. And I live with that guilt everyday.

Thank you for listening, and sorry for intruding.

[Spring Angel]

Hi Cammy1980

Please do not apologise for intruding. I am very sorry to hear of your loss and also to hear that you have been coping with this by yourself. You should not feel guitly for how you chose to deal with your loss, you dealt with it the best way that you could at the time. I am not sure from reading your thread if you are still with the father. But if you feel that you want to or need to tell him, please don't think that because time has passed you should hold onto this by yourself. Just do what your heart tells you.

Either way, please know that if you need to share, we are here to listen.

<<Hugs>>

Kristy

[Bun]

Hi guys,

How is everyone going?

Cammy 1980 - welcome and I am so sorry for your loss. It must be so hard going through this alone. Please don't hesitate to talk to us if you need any support.

Kerry - I am glad to hear that your scans have come back clear.

Owl - good luck with your test results.

Well, I have stopped bleeding now so have physically recovered. Emotionally, I am still all over the place - fine one minute and not coping the next. I have been getting very depressed and have a history of depression and it scares me. My DH seems to be over it now, and pretty much told me the other night to just 'get over it', which really didn't help. I don't know how long it takes to recover after something like this, but it certainly isn't quick.

We are going on a holiday soon to try and give ourselves some space and hopefully some new happy memories.

I hope you are all going ok.

Love Bun

[cheekyfrog]

Hello Bun, Sarah, Owl, Kristy and Cammy1980. I hope you're all doing ok! Welcome Cammy, sorry to hear that you had to go through this experience on your own. Don't feel that you're intruding. I've found the most wonderful support on BB, in the days after my first BFP and particularly so after my m/c on October 15.
One of the doctors from my local GP's practice rang me on Sauturday to talk over the scans and blood test results that had also been sent to the practice. He said he thought the hCG levels would take at least a week to go back to normal. And he's also advised that I make an appointment to get a referral to a specialist to talk over what's happened and what can be done next time I fall pg, as "being 38", these things can be "a bit tricky".
I had some strong cramping this morning and ended up passing a largish clot when I wiped, so my body must still be cleansing itself. I'm looking forward to AF arriving and then saying hello to a new cycle. And it looks like DP and I'll shortly be buying our first house together.
x x x x