today was not such a good day. i spent the weekend with some friends who have a beautiful 7 month old boy. that was fine. then this morning i woke up and checked what my fb buddies were up to and saw an old school friend announce that she will be expecting her second baby on 4th august. it hit a little too closely and i broke down. all my dp could do was hold me in the shower.

i have been pretty down for the rest of the day.

i'm going to try something new. i am going to try and ask for some spiritual guidance. i'm a little iffy about it but trying cant hurt. i cant be any more haunted than i already am. haha.

have my doctors appointment tomorrow afternoon. hopefully he can help me some more. maybe my body is lacking something. i'm hoping we can do some investigations as to whats happening to me. i dont want to be this sad and feeling so hopeless anymore.