No you're not being silly at all. I cried too when I had an early loss in August. We start thinking about this little life who belongs to us, we start to think about what the future will be like with them, and then it is snatched away from us. It's truly devestating .
Although I'm sure you are probably feeling like you are expecting the worst, I really hope that everything turns out alright .
im sorry to hear what you're going through hun. i cried too when i lost my bub, i didnt know i was pg untill i lost it i hink i was crying for what could have been...
i passed the 'product' in the waiting room toilets.. as much as i didnt want to look, i felt i had to, and ill never forget it to think that could have been a healthy baby breaks my heart.
i was told to expect flu-like symptoms after my miscarriage... i cant remember exactly what i felt, but i recall feeling overall pretty cruddy for a week or so.
big hugs hun, its a very emotional confusing time.
It's the unfairest thing in this world that a mother should still feel pregnant when her baby has flown away. It doesn't make any difference whether or not you were trying, what matters are your feelings NOW - don't keep discounting them by saying you're being 'silly' because you're being very normal!
For what its worth Missy, IMO it's better to know, because then you can grieve. It's not always possible to know when someone has an early loss, but I like to think of it as a blessing when you do know, because now your baby will never be forgotten.
Even worse now as someone i thought was a friend was just very insensitive about it.. /crys. I have sat and listened to her through a few cycles now and this is what i get back when i need my friends right now made me feel like maybe im being silly.. but then part of me says no, no your not.
*crys*
Everything today seems to be just horrible... i just wanna go to bed!
Whats worse is tomorrow i have to pull myself together, as i have a wedding to do. in 43 degree heat.... i am just so guttered!
of course you arent being selfish
some peopel do go through entire pregnancies passing clots the whoel way through, wait and see how your results come back.
if i read the words "silly" or "selfish" again in regard to this, i'm gonna have to hunt you down in tomorrows 43 degree heat, and wrap you in the biggest squishiest hug EVER as punishment
you know what - it doesn't matter how planned or unplanned a pregnancy it - it freakin HURTS to lose it, and anyone that tells you that you're wrong to feel that pain has absolutely NFI how much it hurts! you can't just lock those feelings away, you cant pretend it didn't happen
for 36 or 48 hours you knew in your heart that you were going to be a mum again. it wasn't the timing you expected, but it wasn't bad news - just unplanned! in that time, you had an amazing capacity to love that little embryo open up within you - and when that angel was stolen from you, that part of your heart was ripped out.
your friend - well, they're either insensitive, have no idea of what you're going through - or have a serious case of foot in mouth disease. the reality is, this WILL hurt. you can try to pretend it doesn't, but all you're doing is lying to yourself
LET YOURSELF FEEL this - if you dont, it's going to screw with you for a damn long time - you'll go through moments of self doubt (what did i do to make this happen), guilt (i wasn't ready for baby, i must have done something) and then extreme guilt for denying your angel the love and respect it deserves. trust me - i did this with one of my angels - i refused to grieve for a long time - i didn't know i was pg, so why should i feel any pain. i ended up really messed up until i allowed myself to access the emotions regarding that angels loss
thinking of you (and please don't make me hunt you down - it's gonna be DAMN hot and i don't wanna!)
I've been there and seen what you have seen and over 9 years later it still brings tears to my eyes.
Please let yourself grieve it's SO important. I would only let myself cry in the shower when no one would know, I felt like I was being silly grieving but honestly it catches up to you. I hit the wall months later and didn't know why i couldn't stop crying and it eventually all came out. Then came the guilt of not acknowledging them earlier.
I'm still grieving 9 years after loosing the twins and they will always be a part of our family.
I acknowledge them now and talk about them with their brother and sister. We light candles on their due date and christmas etc. We planted a gorgeous rose bush for them that grows beautifully in a garden that doesn't do well otherwise and we pick the flowers and bring them inside and enjoy them.
I guess all I'm trying to say is that IF your baby has gone, let yourself cry and don't let what you hear from others dictate to you what you feel. I heard some amazingly cruel things from people who should know better. Just follow your heart.
Also Ditto to what BG said... It always hurts..... also HUGS BG.... you sound like you have been through alot....
I feel your pain. Its an aweful thing to go through. I hope you have some friends or family you can talk to at this time. I found talking bout it helped.After keeping things to myself for such a long time it was eatting away at me. Once i had opened up a good friend of mine suggested releasing a white balloon into the sky and saying a few things. It really helped me. It helped me to let go and open up about my feelings. If you need to chat i'm a good listener....
RIP little angel babies.... Always in our hearts
Last edited by Je$$_84; February 6th, 2009 at 03:48 PM.
kate, please dont be. it wasnt something i was going to put on you sweets.. after all, you just came to get a trampoline, and it was between visits it all happened. please dont feel bad.... Just promise me your neice will enjoy and get so much out of the tramp! DD cried after you left, but i explained to her about your neice and she actually was so sweet and said "i want to go and help her learn to walk, and jump and play" made me cry more! I was so proud of her....
BellyBelly Life Subscriber & MPM
No you're not being silly at all. I cried too when I had an early loss in August. We start thinking about this little life who belongs to us, we start to think about what the future will be like with them, and then it is snatched away from us. It's truly devestating
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