Finally some people who will understand where I am at!
My son was three in January. My DH decided he needed to be toilet trained even though he has never shown the slightest hint of knowing whether he is wet or dirty, despite my tricky substitute of the cheapest nappies you can get so he would feel the discomfort. We have been going through 6-8 pairs of pants each day for a week! We have Bob the Builder, Thomas etc...he doesn't care. When I say he should have gone to the toilet he just says 'yeah'.
He is my fourth boy and all of them trained themselves, they told me they needed to go and that was pretty much it. I think this one was born without feeling in his nether regions. Even when he is dirty he will say "no I haven't done a poo" and try to run away when I want to change him. We too have tried rewards and his brothers tell him they go to the toilet, all big boys do. We have had the odd wee on the toilet but he still is surprised when he goes in his pants. He really has no idea!