Wants to wear pants, but wont go to the toilet

[Astrid]

Ok, I am ready to just give up. DD has been toilet training for a few weeks now. She gets better, then regresses a little bit. For awhile there she was happy to wear a nappy, so I just let her, she would often ask of an afternoon. Well now she absolutely refuses a nappy, that was not a problem as she seemed to be getting the hang of things. Often she would just start to wee, go "wees!" and run off to the toilet. She was fairly good when out, would go to the toilet when I asked her to, as often I was going as well. There was one major accident at the park and she was very sad about it, we made sure we did not make a fuss and got her cleaned up.

Well now it has gone completely backwards. She wants to wear undies only, even at night, which of course we don't let her, but she is making no effort to go to the toilet. She just says "oh oh, wee's", pulls off her pants and walks off. No attempt to go to the toilet like before. Asking her to go to the toilet does not work, she just says no and gets upset if we push the issue or try to gently lead her.

Have had a few poos on the floor. First time, not too bad, I just cleaned it up and then got her into the bath (it happened to be bathtime). This morning again, but she was covered in poo, so I said to that we would have a shower keeping calm about it all, she just ran off screaming, the moment I followed she started laughing. Couldn't help it, I just got so angry at her for running off on me. Calmed down in the shower and explained to her that if she wants to wear undies she goes to the toilet. Happened again this afternoon, saw her just as she was doing it, so I went to pick her up to put her on the toilet. Once again she ran off screaming and laughing. Stopped chasing her, she came back and placed her on the toilet. Once again I got angry, I know I shouldn't, but I have little patience at the moment. I explained to her that she has to wear nappies if she wont go to the toilet and that it is ok. I tried putting a nappy on her, but she just kicked and screamed. Had to stop before I ended up hurting her, as my nails were catching her flailing legs.

What do I do? Not sure if it is an attention thing, as I am too tired to do much with her and my patience is almost non existent. I wouldn't care if she didn't want to train just yet, but then she needs to wear nappies. She has been going to childcare 1 day per week, and we have just managed to get a 2nd day. She is not too bad there, just tends to get too busy to think about the toilet.

[Daydream Believer]

Can you sew or do you know someone who can sew?

You could try making a fitted cloth nappy but instead of doing up with velcro or snaps, make it like underwear so it has an elastic top so she can pull them up and down. As far as going to the toilet Im no help there, I have had to TT anyone yet

[~Raven~]

You could try training pants with her. They don't catch much if it is a big wee though but will stop the poo getting on the floor

Will she sit on the toilet for you at all? Perhaps you could try reading her a book while she sits. I used to park myself on a chair in front of the toilet while Mason sat on it and read a story to him several times a day. It may take a few goes but they love the attention and if she happens to wee on the toilet and you give her a reward (ie star or a teeny bit of choc) she'll soon get into the habit hopefully.

[Astrid]

Already using training pants along with undies, not difference at all with behaviour. DH has come home and I have told him about it all, so he has bribed her with buying some fish on the weekend if she poos on the toilet tomorrow.

Not too sure about bribery or reward charts, was hoping to make going to the toilet a normal thing, not something she does for reward iykwim, but we may have to go down that path if it continues for a few more days.

[nikbrad]

Mackenzie was great and i used all types of things. I had a bag which had books, blocks, puppets etc and I would sit on the floor while she sat on the toilet. I also used a piece of paper blue tacked to the toilet wall and everytime she went I gave her a sticker which she then stuck on the paper. So while she was sitting she could see her lovely stickers. I also used a small bit of chocolate (she's like me will do anything for Chocolate) which she got for doing poos on the toilet. She trained very quickly as a mixture of all of the above worked well for her.

[~Raven~]

I understand your apprehension about bribery. I wasn't going to do it either but ended up doing so after dealing with Mason being a horror to TT (which I now know can be attributed to his Aspergers) and Angus having major regression after Caleb was born.
After a few days (3 or 4) of the little one going willingly and being rewarded the choc bits ran out and I conveniently "forgot" to buy more. By this time the habit has been established and the praise that I was also giving them became enough to keep them going. When Angus asked for his chockie I'd tell him next time we went to the shops and he'd get a little reward then

[Astrid]

Thought I better give an update. DD had a great day on Friday, went to childcare and did not have one accident. She did have a little one at home that night, but at least attempted to go to the toilet. Today she was quite good, DH put her in a nappy when we were out for a couple of hours, well it was barely used and when we got home she took it off herself to go to the potty. The rest of the day she has been going herself and with the odd prompting from us. She did get her fish today as promised by DH, so maybe that helped. Fingers crossed this improvement continues.