Thanks everyone I do feel a little bit better today. She's so tiny that any step backwards seems like such a huge one even if it isn't and when she was overfed it made her sick and I just didn't deal with it. It felt like such a HUGE thing.
A bit of an update - we were up there at 1am last night (yes, seriously... I forgot bottles for expressing, didn't have anything to express into instead and I had rockmelon boobies!) and she appears to have stopped vomitting. I am afraid to get too excited about it just yet but she hadn't vomitted since before we were 12 hours earlier except for a burp which brought up about 2mls and they think was just normal baby possiting and not related... so, just a burp hopefully. before she was vomitting up to 8ml or even 10ml and at every feed so we were really relieved.
Going to book into my old GP tomorrow seeing as it looks like they're transferring bub to a different hospital, I'll book that in tomorrow. I don't know how much of what I'm feeling is situational or whatever but I definitely want to get on top of my feelings before they can develop into PND if I'm not there already, so we'll see how we go!
hun... couldn't read and not reply.
I think what your feeling is common, a friend of mine had her little boy quite early (can't remember now) and he was in hosp in melb, there were days she had to go home (2hrs+) and she felt horrible.
She told me it was the WORST time of her life, she felt she wasn't connecting with him, like she was failing him and that she felt as though he wasn't really 'hers'.
She has now taken him home and the bond they share is probably that little more special... she's seen him through the hard times, given all her love and effort to make sure he had every chance of getting out of hospital.
Your doing an amazing job... can i just say i think it was great she took photos of her DS, like most parents she had photos from when her DD was born and i think having photos (no matter how hard) of those first moments was a good reminder for her that she did care enough, she WANTED pictures of him to show when he's older exactly the fight they fought together.
I do feel a little bit better today. She's so tiny that any step backwards seems like such a huge one even if it isn't and when she was overfed it made her sick and I just didn't deal with it. It felt like such a HUGE thing.
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