It's such a long journey having an scn/nicu baby, all three of mine were and I found it so hard leaving ds even though I had done it all before. Find someone at the hospital to talk too. We also hassled our peadiatrician every day about when we could take our kids home especially dd1 who was there the longest. He admitted later that he took that as a sign we were ready and capable to take her home so he allowed her home sooner. Have you started a journal or dairy so when you are feeling down you can look at the pictures and thoughts? I used to look at photos as much as I could when away from them, fingers crossed you get your dd home soon.