As human bean has eluded to, the early few weeks and even now, we still really struggle with DD arriving so early. I have needed my own space A LOT and felt quite invaded at times when people have bombarded us with calls, messages, packages etc. My DD shouldn't be here with us right now...and celebrating things kind of feels a bit weird ITMS? I guess your response probably depends on the nature of your friendship with her. We actually didn't tell a lot of our circle of friends about DDs arrival until about 3-4 weeks on. We just weren't ready. One of the most helpful things my sister did for me was ring some of my close girlfriends to let them know and give them some updates so I didn't have to go through the story over & over. It really took a weight off for me. I just ask others to be my messengers for me. Maybe you could do something similar for her?

Tread carefully with premmie clothes - when the bubs are this small and in intensive care they don't wear clothes and he probably won't until hes a lot bigger. DD is only just starting to wear clothes now. I was actually a bit funny about people giving us clothes too early on either. I just said no to people or asked them to hang onto them for later down the track.

He sounds a lot like Heidi at birth, similar gestation & weight. Each bub travels a different journey but I'm happy to answer any more questions you have if you want to PM me hun.

I still don't have the words to describe the kind of rollercoaster this journey is. Your dear friend will be in a flux of fragility, hope, despair, frustration, guilt and many more emotions. And it will be a long road for her. To be honest I haven't really cared what has happened in the world around me, I've just been so zoned in to DD, DS and DP and anything outside of that sphere doesn't even rate a mention. Sending her a card or a letter to let her know you're there for her would be a great start but don't worry too much if you don't hear from her.

Sorry if I haven't been much help, its a very personal journey and while people want to do whatever they can to help, its hard to find ways for them to contribute. My family have stood by helplessly too, this kind of road leaves a lot of people around you despairing too - but they can help with DS and housework and practical things like that which honestly do make a big difference.

Stay in touch if you feel the need ok