I just received news that my g/f has birthed her gorgoeus little boy at 25+4 days and he is currently intubated in Melbourne. He weighs a tiny 750gm. She is so far away from home and her supports. What can I do to help her? What would have helped you gorgeous ladies out?
She had a natural vaginal birth, YAY!! I know it's really hard to answer but kind of things are ahead for them? I've been following Heidi's journey through Infinity's thread.
Please keep my g/f and her gorgeous premmie little man in your thoughts and prayers.
I'm just at a loss what I can do for her. Why did this happen to her? It took them 8 years of IVF to get him and now this .
Thanks,
Dan.
Hi. Congratulations to your friend and I will be praying for her little boy.
My sister had my nephew at 24+4. he is now 2 and 1/2 (actual age). I know my sister said that a lot of people didn't even really congratulate them on the birth. So if you can send flowers or a little gift congratulating them. Also if you are able to cook them some meals or do some grocery shopping for them. They will have little time to do this for themselves. I suggest when you get a chance ask them what you can do. You are a great friend to be this thoughtful.
Good luck to them all. My little nephew is an example of the wonderful work they do in the nicu.
Congrats to your friend on birthing her little man.
A girl i worked with had her daughter at 25wks and she is perfectly healthy now (she'd be close to 1yr old), they had A LOT of time in hospital and it was very tiring for them so i think it's the little things that will help.
Are they going to stay at Ronald McDonald house or something similar, could you organise some meals to be taken to them?
A voucher for some premmie clothes, possibly even a visit from you once they are up to it, take her for a coffee or something?
A friend who's going through the same thing at the moment said the worst part is people don't know how to act around her, they don't ask how her son is doing in case the answer isn't perfect, she just wishes her friends would ask to go for a coffee or get excited to bring by the presents they'd bought (even if the clothes are WAY too big)....
A dear friend of mine has not long come home with her little man who was born at 24 weeks. He came home only a few weeks after what would have been his due date and is doing really well. She was the opposite of what some of the PP's have said. She really struggled with everyone congratulating her, and didn't want visitors or people sending/giving gifts. We kept up a constant txt conversation and whilst she was always positive, she just really struggled with celebrating his early arrival.
I contacted her Mom and asked if I could cook or clean or anything but she said they were fine. I bought some hand cream (washing her hands a squillion times at the hospital), and petrol voucher for all the trips back and forth, and a tiny little toy for him. I popped it in the mail with a card saying they were in my thoughts and prayers, and I was there if needed. I did contact the hospital to try and get a gift card or credit note for the cafe but they didn't do them.
I guess it's a matter of it's different for each and every person, and at this point could change on a daily basis too. You'll know pretty quickly what to do and how to go about doing it. Your friend and her little man are in my prayers.
As human bean has eluded to, the early few weeks and even now, we still really struggle with DD arriving so early. I have needed my own space A LOT and felt quite invaded at times when people have bombarded us with calls, messages, packages etc. My DD shouldn't be here with us right now...and celebrating things kind of feels a bit weird ITMS? I guess your response probably depends on the nature of your friendship with her. We actually didn't tell a lot of our circle of friends about DDs arrival until about 3-4 weeks on. We just weren't ready. One of the most helpful things my sister did for me was ring some of my close girlfriends to let them know and give them some updates so I didn't have to go through the story over & over. It really took a weight off for me. I just ask others to be my messengers for me. Maybe you could do something similar for her?
Tread carefully with premmie clothes - when the bubs are this small and in intensive care they don't wear clothes and he probably won't until hes a lot bigger. DD is only just starting to wear clothes now. I was actually a bit funny about people giving us clothes too early on either. I just said no to people or asked them to hang onto them for later down the track.
He sounds a lot like Heidi at birth, similar gestation & weight. Each bub travels a different journey but I'm happy to answer any more questions you have if you want to PM me hun.
I still don't have the words to describe the kind of rollercoaster this journey is. Your dear friend will be in a flux of fragility, hope, despair, frustration, guilt and many more emotions. And it will be a long road for her. To be honest I haven't really cared what has happened in the world around me, I've just been so zoned in to DD, DS and DP and anything outside of that sphere doesn't even rate a mention. Sending her a card or a letter to let her know you're there for her would be a great start but don't worry too much if you don't hear from her.
Sorry if I haven't been much help, its a very personal journey and while people want to do whatever they can to help, its hard to find ways for them to contribute. My family have stood by helplessly too, this kind of road leaves a lot of people around you despairing too - but they can help with DS and housework and practical things like that which honestly do make a big difference.
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My g/f has birthed her premmie boy
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