Ferrals- Far out! Wat a scary thing to happen! U have made me so paranoid!! When Sienna is sleeping during the day i check her like every 15 mins, sometimes my heart does a little jump and i feel instantly sick to my stomach when i cant see her back or chest moving for a couple seconds.. i cant imagine going thru what u went thru.. u must have absolutely sh*t urself. Thank god for the monitor.. maybe i shld get one.. i sleep so soundly at night time and only wake when she starts grizzling for a feed.
Oh and I love ur attitude towards being a mummy! Unfortunately tho i think im way too soft!! It just broke my heart thinking that all she wanted was her Mummy and i had abandoned her! But yes like Tegam said she was in someones big warm arms that loves her very much so i need not have worried. Its so hard tho! Did u have this same attitude you do now with ur first baby or with each child did u gain more and more experience and realise that whinging and crying really isnt going to hurt them?? I think once i have a 2nd child i will be a lot stronger and wont worry about a little bit of crying.. but right now it feels like i shld be revolving my whole life around little miss S since she is my whole life at the moment!

Mildez- I think u must have missed my post about my couple hrs out..it wasnt too good at all! I had a massive attack of mothers guilt!
I have heard its a pretty scary thing for men to agree to get the snip, my SIL ended up getting her tubes tied cos her dh wasnt keen too, she also agreed that it was best off her getting it done incase they ever split up or something happened to her and he met someone new and wanted more kids.. WTF??! They already have 5 kids!! I think men always just like keeping their options open...
Good to hear little J is slowly getting better, i really hope she keeps improving. Has she lost much weight with all the vomiting?? Im so scared of sienna just getting a cold, cant imagine her getting pneumonia.

Tegam- Thanks for ur post! Made so much sense! I cant believe this whole mothers guilt thing, only a few months ago if i had heard a friend saying what im saying now i wld be like 'god! ur only leaving ur kids for a couple hrs..get over it!!!' but NOW its a whole different story! U know i think thats what my main problem going out was.. the fact that ppl were saying i needed 'me time' and it wld be good to get out for a couple hrs... dh included.. but i didnt feel as tho i did need it! She is so much a part of ME now that i didnt feel like ME when i went out without her! I got sad when i was getting out of the car to go into the theatre and i looked in her empty capsule! She is such a good baby and is sleeping a lot during the days that i get so much ME time that i dont know what to do with myself! Im on BB way too much! I actually lowered my internet usage before i had her cos i didnt think i wld have time to come on as much, im on probably triple what i used to be haha so sad, but wat else is there to do wen ur bfing! Thanks again, ur going to be my mummy mentor too!
Oh and so lovely that u still dont like ur 7 yr old going for sleepovers.. i bet i will be the same! U just feel lost without ur little attachments!

Kit- Awww laughing in their sleep sounds adorable!! i cant wait til she does that! Cant believe little Sammy boy has 2 teeth!! Does he bite down at all wen feeding yet??
So cute that he had so many admirers on ur shopping trip! Pity u had a crappy day with him after tho.. but yes i agree with u..its so easy to smile and forgive them when their so cute! Even wen Sienna is taking a bit longer to go to sleep after a night feed if she does a smile or a little noise it just melts my heart and all my frustration disappears!

Forshelby- Aaaarrrgggghh i am so sorry u had such an awful day u sound absolutely at ur wits end... i agree with wat mildez said.. maybe a sleep school wld help to see if his behaviour is normal?? Cld it be reflux related?? I just cant begin to imagine how ur feeling... i honestly cant handle Sienna crying for 2 minutes. I dont think u shld try and handle this on ur own anymore, to keep ur sanity u really need to get some help.. i have no idea what or how tho.... god i wish things cld be a bit easier for u
It made me so sad reading wat ur dp said... its awful that its come to that, i really hope that things start improving soon and he can see once again what a beautiful little boy u have both made together.. just try and remember to keep ur love strong.. with each others support u can get thru it. Thinking of u xxxxxxx

BW- Gosh ur dealing with a bit If u cant go back to teaching will u really miss it do u think?? Can u still get the steroid injection in ur hip if u wanted too or is it too late..? I think it wld be worth it if u can handle getting it done.

Audax- Yes i definitely still have a hard time with other ppls pregnancies. Mainly now because i so badly want to be pregnant still.. or shld i say, again.. cos i want my little sienna girl here too. But i can also be that green eyed witch with friends pregnancies.. i actually have a friend that is due anyday now and i was jealous of her throughout her whole pregnancy, it started off with thinking that if i lose my baby and she has hers then i will have that constant reminder etc.. i actually stopped seeing her for a while cos i cldnt handle it, i have no idea why or what i cldnt handle.. but im only just starting to get better now, im actually loving the fact that she will be having her baby soon and we can play mummies together.
Do you think u felt that way with ur SIL because she fell pg easily.. thats if she did fall easily..? and ur journey was a bit tougher?? Or do u, like me, just want to experience the miracle of pregnancy again?? Or do u just not understand ur feelings at all??!! Trust me, us girls and our feelings are so weird, im actually going to have to do a post in the boohoo room soon cos im really struggling with not being pregnant anymore, i am missing it all so much! I had my ob. checkup today and almost cried when i saw the bed i used to lay on to see my baby at each appointment I want to see if there is anyone else out there that is as crazy as me! Anyway sorry for the ramble, i went a bit off topic!

I hope i havent missed anyone! A big hello if i have!

AFM- I have realised that Sienna is starting to not like her little routine being messed up at all. Today we had a bit of an out and about day, then she had a good 3 hr sleep this arvo but wld have slept for longer if my mum and i hadnt woken her up cos we had to go grocery shopping for my sisters bbq at my house tonight. Well that was silly of us! She was fine up until about 7pm when she just started crying and crying! She must have been so overtired it wasnt funny! Like Ferrals said she just wldnt settle herself. I tried feeding her a few times, but she wld have a suck and then pull off and start crying again. My dad was cuddling her for ages and she wld fall asleep only to wake up after a few minutes and start crying again. By 9pm i said goodbye to everyone (even tho they were at my house!) and took Sienna into our bedroom where i followed our normal bedtime routine of feeding her, wrapping her up and putting her in her bassinet, and then she was amazing! She laid there for a while making little cute noises and doing some beautiful smiles and then fell asleep and only just woke up before for a quick feed and is now back to sleep. Its crazy how unsettled a tired baby can be! U wld think they wld just sleep if their tired but nope! I feel as though im learning more and more about my gorgeous little girl everyday. I have definitely realised that she likes staying at home not having broken sleeps all day which she copped a lot of today.. the poor little bugger.

My Mil is coming down to stay with us next week, i am kinda dreading it cos i think she will pick at the routine that we have going on. Our day goes a little like this.. 6am feed where she gets into bed with me for snuggles til about 9am..maybe 10am like this morning (we love our sleep ins!) we get up, have nudey time out on the grass for a little while, have a bit of playtime inside, she then has a good 3 hr sleep, once she wakes up we go for a walk or something, she has another 3 hr sleep, by now its night time and she normally stays up til about 8pm, i put her to sleep next to me on the couch while i watch tv and come on here, and then we both go to bed at about 11pm..maybe midnight.. maybe even 2am like tonight I know a lot of ppl wldnt agree with the late bedtimes for me and late starts in the morning (especially my MIL, when she was down when we had sienna she was telling me that i had to start going to bed at 8pm everynight and she wld expect me to be up at the crack of dawn too.. cos thats what u do when u have a baby..god i must have missed that bit in the book! ) but hey i figure its working for us so thats all that matters!
Im amazed at how much i have learnt in the last week, before now if she started grizzling after being awake for an hour i wld just keep trying to feed her thinking she was hungry, it wldnt even cross my mind that shes tired, i really didnt think babies got tired that easily and quickly! Now at any sign of tiredness im onto her and she goes straight to bed!

Anyway this post has taken me forever, check out the time, im going to be one tired girl tomoro!

Nite nite xxx