Mako - don't be sorry for your text I was more than happy to get it.

Girls - your love and support has had me in tears. Again DH and I spent a lot of last night talking. He was at work yesterday and I was so angry with him for not dropping everything and coming to me when I rang him with the results. He was just as shocked as I was and didn't even think that I would need him to be there when discussing the options with the OB He feels horrible now that he realises what he has done but it made the first few hours together a little tense - to say the least. Especially when at one stage he said maybe we shouldn't go ahead with the amnio Oh yes, make me feel better about the decision to shove a needle in my belly and risk the safety of Omar to get an answer.

Our conclusion at this stage is that we will progress with the pregnancy regardless of the outcome of the amnio. We took so long to get pregnant and prayed that we would be blessed with children - and we have. It is hypocritical for us to now declare that we only want them if they are *perfect*. We have been given this challenge for a reason. Not sure what that is right now but there must be a purpose. A reason for testing our strength and our love. I have to think this because at the moment it is all I have.

Considering so many have lost their babies recently, we should continue to feel blessed that our little Omar is growing strong. The results aren't confirmed and there are many positives - particularly the nuchal thickness. I have a few things to cling to.

Our main concern is the health, wellbeing and life that we can offer our little people that are already here with us. We worry that the decision we make will have a negative impact on them. They will (potentially) miss out on things if we have a high need child. And is that fair to them?? But on the other hand, they won't know any differently and it is up to us to ensure they are loved and supported as they grow - regardless of what curve balls are sent our way.

For the selfish part - what about me?!?!?!? If we have a high needs baby my options for returning to work are limited and I love my job This is such a difficult road .......

Anyway - enough rambling. It is just random thoughts going round and round. The reality is I may not even need to worry about it. But right now we need a plan if it is more than a risk and once we have the answer we can spend the rest of the pregnancy preparing to welcome Omar home - regardless of the outcome.