*new De-brief VENT*

And the worst mother of the year award goes too.......................... ME!!!!

ARgh.... had an awful day today. Just seem to be battling about everything lately. It started out with her not wanting to eat breakfast as usual. The last two weeks, breakfast has been a punishment or so it would seem to her....and she kept fighting me about every little thing. So I realised she didn't want to get moving this morning, so I sat on the lounge with her & read stories for a little while. Just to give her the attention she wanted & hopefully be able to do something afterwards. She got up in the middle of the stories & ran over to the dog & pulled its tail. Usually thats attention seeking behaviour, but she had all my attention! So... time out. Then we went to painting & she tried to pour the paint all over the ground to which I said "Matilda No" She dropped everything, ran to the nearest dog & bit it! So....time out. We then had a shower to get rid of all the paint (which took me an hour to get her in the shower) and she seemed to settle after that, but we had to go out & we were in the shops for 10 minutes when she exploded. Throwing her body around within the confines of the seat of the trolley & strapped in. But screaming & hitting her head and everything....so we left. As soon as we got home she was fine. I was a mess. I fed her lunch & put her to bed and cried and cried. I just don't know why she is doing this & what I can do now. I am still waiting on an appt with the PPP consultant, who I rang today in tears and said "hurry please" he said should only be a few days before he has the appt date for me. I rang a few friends who have BTDT with tantrums & understand how hard it is. But I just feel so awful now. I am so sad. I feel like a terrible mother who is unable to help her child when she is obviously frustrated & angry for some reason.