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Thread: Christy's De-Brief..positive update

  1. #55

    Join Date
    Aug 2003
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    VIC
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    985

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    Christy, Ashlea used to wake for hours in the night and nothing i could do would get her back to sleep. Then as a result, she was feral the next day due to not enough sleep. You just can't win! I'm sorry I dont have any helpful advice but i know what your going through and sending you a big hug



    Ashlea was also in day care 2 days a week and I didnt want to put her in more cause I wasn't working and felt terrible sending her to day care if I wasn't working, until I was told by 2 people, a Doctor and the Maternal heath care nurse that she really needed to be in an extra day because she 1. Needed the mental and social stimulation and 2. She needed her own independance and time away from me. Ashlea is older than Matilda though, but it helped me not feel so bad about sending her to day care when it wasn't completely neccassary in terms of me working.

    I hope things get a bit better for you, you remind me so much of me and Ashlea with some of the things you say, esspecially the "I don't know how to be a gentle parent when they're having tantrums"
    I'm exactly the same, i stay calm to a certain point then just crack, and I know as soon as i get upset it makes things worse, but at the time I can't help myself. I've ended up in tears over it all myself, but hopefully things start getting better for you soon.

  2. #56

    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Forestville NSW
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    8,944

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    Okay... some may be aware that we are undergoing testing for things for Matilda. We've done allergy testing and got some results & we are going to a developmental clinic at the hospital in a few months to test for sensory integration and other issues that can cause some of her behaviours. As she's getting older, things are getting more and more "quirky". I just want her to be able to go to school without stress, I want her to be able to learn because I know she is a smart girl, but I don't know how well she'd go at school.

    The other thing is we've found that she is allergic to cow's milk. Through allergy testing, so something that she's been addicted too for the past few years...

    Had a bit of a meltdown lastnight, DH & I were talking late in the night about a lot of Matilda's behavioural issues and how she's had a panic attack recently & anxiety and if that is all milk related we feel so guilty. I know we weren't to know, and I know that there is SO much pressure to give your baby milk....

    I just wish I had listened to my gut when Matilda was a baby. I wish I didn't go the "medical" way and just try to treat the symptoms.... and what if we caused some permanent damage to her by giving her something that she is allergic too for years?

    DH & I had a big cry late last night & again this morning. We've seen some differences in her behaviour over the past week, this morning wasn't great, but we've gone 4 days without a tantrum and then had 3 this morning (wonder if she ate something with milk.... I gave her a calcuim tablet that didn't say if it had dairy, now I'll have to find out). I just feel so bad for her... poor poor little sausage. I know tantrums are normal as well, so maybe it was just an off morning. We had 4 days tantrum free!!! She hasn't gone one day tantrum free since she was 9 months old.

  3. #57

    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    6,683

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    Oh Christy hugs to you sweetie. That darn mother guilt is a killer isn't it? You know it's not your fault but it doesn't stop the feeling. I know you are a great mum and you've done a great job with both girls. Congratulations on 4 tantie free days - that's great news. And fingers crossed that this morning was a one off. Things will get better and you are doing everything you can for her. Take care.

  4. #58

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Funky Town, Vic
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    7,070

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    HOw are things going now Christy? How is Matilda with Jovie, are there still tantrums etc?

    Ah, I'm at the end of my wits myself and you know how similar Mitch and Matilda have been since birth.....
    I can't seem to do anything about the sibling rivalry, Mitch has similar reactions when things aren't his way. Beth can't have toys at all and he is always lashing out at her.
    Nik and I have pulled right together when it comes to consequences etc, did the 123 magic course and nothing is helping.
    I can't get my head together to post a thread about it all just yet (it would be 4 pages), but we need further help. Something more focussed on Mitch himself.
    Have you recommendations I could try? I don't even know where to start.....

  5. #59

    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Forestville NSW
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    8,944

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    ah man mate its so hard. ATM things are not good either. I have been through the Triple P program with independant consultants through QLD gov. I wonder if there's anything like that where you are... its free. Great way to get through issues and fine tune certain areas. But saying that, I will need to deal with that again. Matilda's turned a bit aggressive lately. She's discovered that she gets a reaction if she bites or scratches Mummy I can't help myself, I get so cranky with it.

    Have a look here: http://bellybelly.com.au/forums/pare...good-home.html I'm sure you'll understand

  6. #60

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Funky Town, Vic
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    Well the little bugger has been pretty good latley.......so his sister can take centre stage for awhile maybe?
    I'm hoping it sticks, but it's like waiting for the other shoe to drop.

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