Does it ever go?????

[DaintreeDream]

I love NB's...yet I find it hard to hold someone else's. Its yummy and comforting to an extent yet when you know its not your own it sadden's me. I find myself giving the baby back to their mum after 5 mins becuase it just plays on my heart strings to much

Oh Maz. I know this feeling all to well. I have a nephew who is one month old. I have seen him twice. It is just sooo hard. I missed all that and I am envious. I feel that this uncontrollable urge to have a baby now is to re-claim what I missed with Matilda.

I am not sure if that urge with ever go but I do hope you pain fades...

[mbear]

I don't think it ever goes away

...........i agree....i dont think it ever goes away. Im pg now with #4 and its defn, defn our last....somedays i just want to freeze time...i want this moment (i.e 29wks prg, baby kicking etc) to stay forever....i never want to let it go. I know i will never, ever be pregnant again....and yes, i feel very sad about that. But, like Willow said, i think youve got to look at what youve got and the really good points about not having any more children.....i know for me, i cannot wait to just spend time with DH again.....i cant wait to get back into my sewing, i cant wait to wear stilletos ((......all those things....
2 of my 3 sisters are yet to have children.....i know when they do i will yearn for another, i will feel envious, jealous and may even ponder the thought of a #5.....but thats all it will be....thoughts and wonderings. I think when im 60 yrs old i will still yearn for more.....but, you cant go on having children forever....

I figure im going to be in your possi in about 12 months time.....so hugs to you.....

[Jennifer13]

Maz, if you are not done with babies, the universe will find a way. You may not birth them yourself, but you'll have them in your life somehow. Nephews, nieces, grandchildren, foster children, you have so much to offer, hun.

I am dreading reaching our last baby and knowing that'll be it. Especially since I think I'll want one more than my DH does.

[paradise lost]

I am approaching agony stage in the baby-need at the moment. DD is nearly 3 and as it's as if something's just snapped - my body is screaming that it's time for another baby. But we have to hold off a bit for a variety of reasons. It must be so much harder when you can't have another

Maz some women are just MEANT to mother. And i think you're one of them. I know this doesn't help with the physical side (that carrying and birthing another baby can't be done by you i mean) but you're obviously supposed to be around and/or to do with babies hun! Have you considered early-weeks-doula-ing? So many doula's in the UK only offer help for the first 2 weeks after birth, i would pesonally really value a doula who, like you, is an experienced mum who could come in for the first few months and help me get to grips.

Fostering is another beautiful idea. My own mum used to do emergency fostering so we'd often have babies or children just for a weekend or a few nights while something was being sorted (not all abuse cases, once w had a little boy whose mum had PND and the house had become squalid due to lack of care, social services placed the boy with us for a weekend and the woman's family came in and helped her clean the whole house up and he was taken home on the MOnday after she'd seen the GP for a counselling referral and some AD's, sometimes we got a baby between them being given up anf the adoption process being final for a few weeks, sometimes we got them when their long-term foster parents were having respite (disabled kids)).

One thing i would say to you is that the longing and love for babies you feel is a big part of you, it makes up who you are, and that's a beautiful, loving, caring, mothering person. Embrace it hun, there aren't enough women like you in the world.

Bx

[Michelle71]

I don't have an answer for you. Just understanding

We will *try* for a third *take home* baby but since having our second *take home* I am even thinking of making it four ............ DH may have something to say about that. I LOVE being pregnant despite the stress it brings for us and the thought of never getting to experience that feeling again makes me immensely sad. I know the first few weeks are hell. I know my two have driven me to distraction in the past week. But I also know how much they make my life better, fuller and more special than I could ever have imagined. And I just want to increase that feeling .........

So when do you know when you are finished ...... I have no idea

[alioops]

We are currently in the process of trying to decide whether we would have a 4th biological child, or if we would adopt. If we were to go the biological way it would be about 5 years age gap between the younger 2, if we were to adopt then who knows?

For us the decision is a health related decision. I dont want to be in so much pain when I could be out playing with my kids. I also don't have family support nearby for the times when physically I can't do the mundane things.

[Hollybolly]

Oh Maz, hunny, I just wanted to offer you some big hugs

I can completely understand where you're coming from - I'm with Bec in the 'agony' side of things to have another baby... different situation, I know, but I understand the need

I completely agree with the other girls - I truly think some of us are born to be mothers - I keep taking on other peoples children to try & fill the void until my next one appears

Bec's idea is great in regards to the doula-ing... and perhaps short term fostering could be something to consider... but I understand what you're writing - the pregnancy, breastfeeding, etc - its so much more & when you can feel it inside that you need it... well, its a drive thats very hard to calm

Big big hugs for you - and lots of love sweetheart xxx