I have had a rough day today with my poor little man!!!! This is going to be long and circular

Bit of backround.. he has recently started going to day care one day a week, every time i drop him off he is upset- i call frequently and they tell me that he is upset for about 10 minutes but then he is fine.. he goes down for his naps nd all is ok- twice when i have gone to pick him up he has been visably upset- the carer said that he woke up from his nap a bit upset the first time, and this second time it was because some mums had come to get their kids so he was getting anxious and wanting me - now i have a few issues with this- and Im going to possibvly condratict myself here!!!

Number one issue- is that i have told them time and time gain if he is too upset to please call me and i will come and get him. I feel horrible arriving there and i can hear my son crying!!!!!!!!

NOw the condraction and leading me to my vent- he goes on mondays and monday evening and all of tuesday he is a right pain in the butt- he tantrums at anything and wants me to carry him around all day (which is what i have seen the carers do at care)

Now part of me is thinking my poor little man- he is just coping with this huge change and he just wants some reassurance and some extra attention, but then i also think, no wait... he knows that this behaviour is getting him attention at care. He knows if he does the whingy thing they pick him u and they give him lots of attention and he comes home and thinks oh yeah- i can try this with mummy.. so i dont know if i am just a horrible mum who is ignoring her sons emotional needs or what??!!!! BUt he is just soooooooo naughty aswell, he really tests me and does things he KNOWS are not ok, he throws things at me, hits me and is just naughty!!!!

So then the "mean mummy" in me wants to then tell the care ladies instead of calling me when he gets like this, can you please ignore my son coz by giving into his behaviour you are making him want me to the same!!!????????? How HORRIBLE IS THAT???????

Can someone please tell me they understand and im not a horrible mummy coz i really feel like one- i have been tellinbg him off all day and i just want to know how to make him stop being so naughty!!!!!!