good on you for reaching out and recognising you need help... this parenting gig is tough... really tough

I find when I am under a lot of pressure that I revert back to the way I was parented. The only reason I don't smack is because I am scared that if I do I will go overboard like my mum would. She didn't do it often but enough that I know it is ingrained in me.

I agree with recognising the triggers. I like to send DS to timeout but that makes him worse, he protests more and I wind up more. I have to remove myself from the situation, I literally do a mental thought of is he safe and lock myself into my room for 5 mins to calm down. I am just waiting to do a challenging children course cause I also know I need help.

When things calm down here I talk with DS about how is behaviour was wrong and I always apologise if I go over the top. Parenting is a work in progress, we all make mistakes it's how we learn from them that matters and I think you know that which is why you have reached out.