i need some coping strategies...

[PinkPalace]

i am bad it is true when it comes to cleanliness.
I am very house proud and i always have to have it clean and tidy.
Toys and whatnot dont worry me too much - i will tidy them at the end of the day (although i know that annoys DH - he will pick up after the kids all day).

i know i put alot of pressure on myself to be the perfect mother, wife, housewife etc.
I do not ask for help easily. actually just do not. i see it as a sign of weakness and that i am not coping and i dont like being seen as not coping. Others manage and i am more than capable of coping so i tell myself to suck it up and get on with it.

I have tried to let the cleaning slide, and it some aspects i have done this, not proudly though.
But i dont want to have the place fall apart.

wow that was a ramble

[Arcadia]

i know i put alot of pressure on myself to be the perfect mother, wife, housewife etc.
I do not ask for help easily. actually just do not. i see it as a sign of weakness and that i am not coping and i dont like being seen as not coping. Others manage and i am more than capable of coping so i tell myself to suck it up and get on with it.

Awww...it sounds like you need a massive hug.

You ARE a perfect mum, wife and housekeeper! Its just that you are a perfect HUMAN one!

I am currently trying to change my diet so I don't hit the energy drop at 3pm, because I get exhausted then too (and need to wind myself up to start the bed time wind down!)

I also think it is easier to imagine everyone as not coping in some way. We ALL have our faults/weaknesses, and you are not weak for recognising your own. In fact it takes great strength and wisdom to be able to reflect on your own imperfections.

It sounds like you are being very hard on yourself at the moment. Remember a lot of people reach out for help when they have children, and those that seem to be coping well often have an army of friends and family behind them. If you're isolated and tired, then it is near impossible to be the best you can be.

Go easy on yourself hun. Maybe give youself a mini 'holiday', like no cleaning for a few days (yes NO cleaning) and maybe some extra yummy food or tv time - just a bit of indulgence to help you through.

[christy]

oh hun, others do NOT manage well. We have arsenic hour between 4-5pm... and often I have to sit down and cry. I've been known to phone DH in the middle and say "WHY don't you have to deal with this????" With or without DD1's issues, the time of day makes me stressed, even when I'm at work!!!

Lately we've gone to the park for that time, and I've prepared dinner ahead of time or its in the SC and I just go to the park so they can't destroy the house.

Today, it was raining, so I put their rain coats on and gum boots and sent them out to the swing set because it was either that or pull hair out and I thought it was the best option.

Food spills... maybe have dinner outside for a few nights.... when you are already stressed, make them eat outside for a break.

House proud... I had to work very very hard at letting go of my house. I hated it... I hated looking around my house and feeling dirty. I still hate it, right now I'm looking at my disorganised bookcase and feeling my stomach churn because the job is just too big to do right now and I hate it! BUT when I need to get through my day, I choose to look the other way. I have to make choices to turn away.

[Liz]

Oh this is US!!!!! I often wish I could remove the hours of 3-7pm from my day LOL.

I was going to suggest getting the slow cooker out. The days where I am more organised is when I'm not so stressed with the kids. If i've had a bum around day, just doing bits & pieces, then comes 3pm the kids are getting cranky and needy, but stupid me realises I haven't done anything all day so decide to start dinner or picking up mess... then the low tolerance and yelling starts. They fight and scream at each other, they get under my feet, they fight & scream with me... ARGH.

If I'm in the right mood, I think of an activity like playdoh or painting or something and set them up doing that while I chop the vegies or something. But I have to be in the right kind of mood for allowing that extra mess, if that makes sense.

Anyway, sorry, I don't really have any solutions.. I'm struggling through those arsenic hours myself these days, I just wanted you to know you are not alone!! But I do think the afternoon depends upon me more than the kids. I need to stop my late nights, and if DH is home for the day and our routine (hmm.. we don't really have a routine as such.. ) but if our day is thrown out somehow, it just escalates the whole thing and I find myself just DYING to get the kids bathed and in bed so I can have some peace!

[christy]

I've done the bath at 3.30 thing and then putting them back in their tops until after tea and then wiping them down after dinner.

Tonight both were screaming that they were hungry at 4.30pm while I was trying to frantically make dinner and they wound up eating a carrot each as fast as I could chop... but I reckon if they eat a carrot at least it wasn't biscuits or crackers but something healthy? I wound up frying an egg for one of them who ate it happily. She still ate most of her dinner too. I found if I don't feed them when they are hungry, they won't eat because they are too tired.

Neither of my girls sleep, but we have enforced rest time for 30 minutes anytime around 1-2pm. I usually put a movie on for them and put a timer on. I say they have to stay laying down until the timer goes off. After a few weeks of introduction I made the "If you get up, I add 5 minutes" thingo... sometimes it works... DD2 does not get up at all, but DD1 will. She will get up and come back and sit down though which is good for me.

[~Kim~]

PP.
I have no advise but I wanted to let you know that I think you're courageous.

[PinkPalace]

Thanks girls

Meals - i have everything ready the night before a care day.
Or i cook dinner and make lunches straight after breakfast when they are the happiest to play together.

my slowcooking abilities suck hehe! but i will learn one day.

Christy - i have tried to get DD to have some quiet time. BUt she screams for the tv.
hence why i want to stop the tv.

The only rule atm i can stick to is no tv after dinner - it is quiet book time then milk and bed.

[Liz]

Thinking of you PP! I'm getting a bad case of 3.30-itis right now, but hopefully will survive today a bit better. DH is at work, DS came home from preschool in a pretty good mood, dinner is cooking in the slow cooker. Am going to take the kids outside while I get the washing in shortly, then might chuck em in a bath hehe.

Hope your afternoon goes smoothly today.

[BekZ]

PP - Hugs hun you are doing a great job. Unfortunately I use the good old tv on days when I am running late and haven't got dinner prepared before 3pm. I have/had massive issues about keeping my place clean at all costs, until number 3 came along. Now I just make sure the kids are not feral and I remain calm. My kids get more feral if I am not calm...so I would follow the advice of Rogue. Goodluck hun