Being over-protective.....

[PollyA]

I think if something isn't sitting right for you its a good idea to work on it. What kind of parent did you want to be?
I believe that our modern approach to parenting is a difficult one to sustain. I think the old saying "It takes a Village to raise a child" is so very true so I am working hard to build my village. This does involve letting go a little. My first night away from my daughter when she was 11 months old was a concert of my favourite singer, I felt like a piece of me was missing. I cried a lot, and when other mums said things like "freedom...you want a drink?' i thought "how could you understand" But she was with her grandparents, and shes a part of them too. Even more so when she's with her dad (while I'm at work), I only really became more comfortable as she got older. You know that old saying about love being like a bird, I can't remember how it goes, but something about holding it too tight can kill it, letting it go and it comes back to you...
We are as close as I had always wished for, and even better i am not her entire world. She has others who have her back, teach her stuff. She is becoming her own little person in the world, I see bits of me, I see bits of her Dad, but I see mostly a new little person, separate from me. Its also the worst part...its nice to be someones entire world, but maybe not the best things for them
I am also grateful that when they get bigger and maybe do things that I don't like, leave me to discover the world I will have other things in my life. I am a better mum by being a person in my own right.
We are a part of somehing bigger. I think a mothers protective instinct is as natural as....well all things natural (sleep deprivation while encouraging philosophical thought, stunts word finding). What I am not sure about is the idea that no-one else can provide the protection. I think thats new.
I also wonder if that fierce protection we think we are giving actually is protective. I have noticed that my kids are much more likely to fall over in my arms reach than when they are carefully exploring a little way away. ( I know thats not all the protection is about but a small example)
Anyway, I don't think there are any right answers, Its just about finding what works for you, now and in the future, and what makes you and yours happy.