For me, having to conceive my child with IVF, I realised that the dr/patient relationship, for some things, SHOULD be a partnership, and it often isn't. My ob was also my Fertility Specialist (FS) and he was a wonderful FS but conservative, prone to trying the same thing over and over even if it wasn't working, not being aggressive in treatment, and, to be honest, not really understanding how *I* was feeling in the whole thing, how soul destroying failed cycle after failed cycle was for me.. And how could he? He wasn't me. So, ideally, my needs should have been balanced with his medical knowledge, but they often weren't. It wasn't until I read up, researched, informed myself that I felt the power to control some of those decisions, and that's when our relationship started to work.

He then became my ob and that was a different kettle of fish. He too was guided by his experiences and as far as he was concerned, I'd tried too long to fall pregnant to 'risk' my child with trusting my body to have a vaginal birth. He believed in his training, and his ability to deliver a good outcome (a live child) and didn't believe in ME. But *I* believed in me.

And it is this disconnect that happens when something that is NOT a medical condition is treated like a medical condition. Birth is not a disease, and over time, it's come to be treated like it is. And it means that there are whole generations of women who think that giving birth is something that needs to be done in a surgical theatre. I think this is why there is now building an inherent distrust of the medical profession in the area of childbirth, because the needs of the woman are often not taken into account.