Thanks guys, its coming from both of us, not just dp I have mentioned him because I was trying to show that it was coming from us both not just me. He is definitely much stricter and does pull her up on more as in her behaviour...she might want something and I say no because its too close to dinner then she'll make a fuss and I'll cave...he'll say no its too close too dinner etc. another example is I've always made dd1 go to bed at the same time as her as it makes her go tp sleep easier...well dd1 is 8 and dd2 is 4. Its stuff like that that he's bringing up and now I have the support of him now I find I have more strength to stand up to her.
What I really need is ideas to stop the lying...i have been spending way more time with her and more quality time, I've made such an effort with this and its seemed to make things worse. Its not that I'm going to stop that...I'm not, I love spending time with her I just want to know how to stop and if not stop then deal with the lies and the constant need for attention...I'm exhausted.
And I know manipulating is bout a nice sounding wired and out has nasty connotations but pretending to hurt yourself or lying to get me to behave a certain way is manipulation...its not cynister but it is what it is.
The house set up is that all the living areas are upstairs and our bedroom and the gym is downstairs. Dp is often in our room because he's trying new treatment which is knocking him around. So me and dd will take the kids to school then we'll sit down for an hour and a half and colour or watch a movie our something then I'll go downstairs and shot with dp for a while. I always make sure she has stuff to do and if she needs anything she knows where I am. The reason she can't come down is there is no bannister and a big drop. Also we made the rule no kids in our room as dp needs somewhere to have his privacy plus his needs etc.
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