I was a big crier. Then when Lu died I broke after the first memorial. I held it together so the day wasn't "about me" and then with all the nastiness towards me after that I broke. I can talk about the horrendous trauma of the day but I am broken. Haven't really cried much since.

I miss crying.

Sorry for being so morbid, but I wanted to illustrate that there is something wrong with me because I DON'T cry... not because you do. KWIM?