I'm so old school in a total routine junkie. And a control freak. Totally not helpful at all. I measure out stuff and then let them help in that way until they are older. I often put cups of milk inside the fridge with bowls of cereal on the bench already poured so they could help that way. I also had Woden toast tongs. I also had everyone take turns. And one day it would be DD's turn first and the next day it would be DS's turn first. They still do alternating now and they bargain all the time with tv shows and seating places so it obviously worked for them. I also made "snack boxes" in lunch boxes with snacks that could keep then going till I had my coffee and was coherent and patient.

This could totally go against your styles. Or be helpful. Hopefully the latter.